Gordon in the morning: Leaky

This morning, Gordon is claiming that the line-up of The Sun's army charity gig has been "leaked" to his column.

It's your paper's charity, Gordon. It's not a leak if someone walks across the office and tells you something.

And if it was a leak, what kind of noodle-doodle man would run a leak from his own company?

In other news:

KASABIAN have landed a new footie deal which will make them Britain's biggest musical export.

It will soon be impossible to avoid them anywhere in the world after Barclays Premier League paid a fortune to use their massive track Fire in the title sequences whenever matches are shown abroad.

For the next three years broadcasters in around 200 countries will legally have to use the song when they show live games.

Good God, can you imagine being legally compelled to play a Kasabian song? It's like something out of a tone-deaf dictatorship.

It's unclear if broadcasters will be able to improve the song, perhaps by getting Philip Schofield to fade the sound down and sing the lyrics over the top, but here's hoping.