Katy Perry feels so validated

Apparently Katy Perry feels she's matured since her last album.

You know, like a cheese does. Becomes just a little more ripe; you need to hold your nose a little more firmly before consuming.

She's told the AP that this new record is "really validating". In the sense of 'I'm not wearing any clothes at all for the sleeve this time round' is validating.

Perhaps she can explain what she means?

"It's really validating, but not in like a mean girl's kind of way feeling," she said. "I've always believed in myself and it's just wonderful that people can finally jump on the train and be a part of something really exciting."

Ah, it's not validating in a mean girl's kind of way of feeling. Of course it isn't. It also isn't a feeling that's a girl's mean way of kindly validating really.

What I've done is a little unfair; I've scrambled up the words Perry said and come up with something meaningless.

She's included a song on this record which is about a man taking drugs:

"It was difficult to write it because it's not where I am now, but it was a feeling that I had stored away a long time ago, in my emotional filing cabinet."

Emotional filing cabinets are quite tricky things; just when you really need to dig out the details on the Paxton account for a meeting, it suddenly bursts into tears because its father never loved it. Or, worse, it reorganises all your files in order of who needs a hug the most. Really difficult to keep track with one of those, but slightly less physically damaging than a hysterical Rolodex.

But why would Perry write a song about a man doing drugs instead of another one about kissing boys or sometimes kissing girls? It's range, you understand:

"Sure, I wanted to make a record with more tempo, but I didn't want that to mean that I had to write about just DJs and dancing and getting drunk… I need a soundtrack for all the rest of my emotions, and that's what I really wanted to provide with this."

A soundtrack for all the non-getting drunk emotions Katy Perry might experience. I think we all need an album like that, don't we?

Perry doesn't list what her 'not getting drunk' emotions consist of, but I'm reliably informed they are mostly 'grimly deciding to take top off for photos', 'pretending to be a little bit bisexual again' and 'look, look, there's a camera, did it see me?'

Any last words, Katy?

"This record is going to kind of solidify the fact that I have something different to offer, a different perspective."

Yes. Some songs about getting drunk and a record about a man taking drugs. We have never had their like before.

I think I feel a little more validated, too.