Gordon in the morning: Oldplay

Coldplay are busily working on a whole new album, you'll be thrilled to hear:

[Chris Martin] 33, said: "We're hungry and very fired up. In five years we'll be in our late 30s. You have to have your best work done by then."

You know what, Chris? I think you already have done your best work by then. In fact, I think you'd done your best work by the time you packed up that first evening back in Parr Street.

Still, Gordon is nodding sagely about this need to beat the clock:

He's got a point. Just look at the drop in quality from rock legends THE ROLLING STONES and BOB DYLAN when they hit mid life.

The Rolling Stones drop in quality, eh, Gordon? We can only assume you believe that Mick Jagger hit midlife sometime around last summer, as last May you were gnawing with excitement to find out what Jagger's session with Joss Stone would sound like:

I can’t wait to hear what they all come up with.

And Bono is 50, yet it doesn't seem to have stopped you fawning with delight every time he cranks out a musical burp.

Still, there's an undeniable hint of the midlife about the new Coldplay record. Or at least some sort of crisis, anyway:

CHRIS MARTIN has revealed the inspiration behind the band's risky fifth album is old school American graffiti.

The frontman said: "The ideas come from New York graffiti art of the Seventies where people were expressing themselves with paint.

"I've spent a lot of my life playing it a bit safe or conforming to something, even though I didn't agree with it.

"So I have respect and admiration for people who don't.

"It's about being free to be yourself and to express yourself among negative surroundings. Being able to speak out or follow your passion, even if everybody seems against it."

Really, Chris? The Coldplay body of work to date was all about playing it safe? Why, I'm sure nobody noticed.

Only a multisquillionaire would think that going into a warm, comfortable studio - having already made more than enough to see you through this and many other lifetimes - is on a par with risking your life and liberty when you have nothing to tag a subway car.