Gordon in the morning: Stars in their eyes

As you'll know, Simon Cowell is dragging the X Factor format to the US (or doing American Idol under a slightly different name so he can keep even more of the cash).

But who to have on the panel?

Gordon thinks he knows:

Simon wants a huge name

Well, yes. He doesn't want to go on American TV with the equivalent of Kylie's sister, a woman out of a hair advert and the bloke who seems to have grasped that it's pantomime but not that he's the dame.

So, who is he after?

He has already tapped up ROLLING STONES lord MICK JAGGER

Gordon then abandons any further mention of this approach, to focus on this bit:

...and is now after NOEL GALLAGHER.

Noel Gallagher is hardly "a huge name" in America, though, is he? One fairly large selling album in 1997 doesn't really make him well known beyond a few smartly-dressed young-ish people in the big cities. The sort of people who know his name will also steer clear of The X Factor.

If Cowell is chasing Gallagher, it's going to be on the same basis that he inflicted Piers Morgan on the Americans - nobody knows or cares who he is, but he has a funny face, a funny accent and can create comedy insults. Sure, they might be related to wit in the same way a clawhammer is related to fretsaw, but many Americans find it difficult to tell Are You Being Served from George Bernard Shaw.