"Listen, me and him [Noel] will be sweet, man.Well, I guess now he's not carrying a dead weight round with him like something out a clunking tribute to Rolf Harris' early career.
"Our little venture's come to an end but I'll never have a bad word about OASIS, it was f*****' amazing.
"It's why I'm adored by millions. But it's over and we're buzzin'. And I hope our kid's buzzin'. I f*****' do actually. I hope he's gonna make great records. And he probably will."
And, strictly between ourselves, we all know that Liam isn't adored by millions - more like liked by a few hundred thousand at best - but it's incredibly dangerous to wake up sleepwalkers, so let's let him carry on, shall we?
In other not-actually-news, yesterday's disgraceful piece about Alex Reid is the only story from the 20th to still be displayed on the Bizarre home page near the top of the page. Normally when someone famous guest-edits the column, Gordon splashes photos of them all over, but for some reason he's not even mentioned that Katie Price is choosing the stories at the moment.