Sting: You might want to close your eyes and switch off the computer rather than read this

Oh, good lord:

In a frank and occasionally crude interview, [Sting] said: ‘When we see each other, it’s romance. I don’t think pedestrian sex is very interesting.

‘There’s a playfulness we have; I like the theatre of sex. I like to look good. I like her to dress up. I like to dress her up.’

'Her' being Trudi Styler, of course.

And when asked the most romantic thing they have ever done for each other, Sting replied: ‘Romantic? We like tawdry.’

Tawdry? Like sacking a woman simply because she was pregnant sort of tawdry, you mean?

It should be remembered that Sting once slammed on about the tantric sex sessions - indeed, the Daily Mail does:

Much to the embarrassment of their ­children, the yoga fanatics have already infamously suggested they enjoy tantric sex, swingers parties and strip clubs.

What the Mail seems to have forgotten is that Sting later admitted he'd made the whole thing up. There's no real reason to assume he's not doing the same this time. Because if he didn't make us all gag a little by talking about his great sex life, would anyone pay him any attention at all?