It's the Brits next Tuesday, with James Corden presenting solo for the first time.
Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe we're all booking sessions on Wednesday to have our toes uncurled that we won't actually need.
Gordon, I understand you have news from the backstage preparations. How is it going?
The Gavin & Stacey star has been handed the best dressing room - next door to Bajan beauty RIHANNA at the O2 Arena in London.I might need to bring forward my toe-decurling.
And Big Dog James has made himself at home, drilling a little hole in the wall with a screwdriver to make sure he can keep an eye on her preparations for the bash on Tuesday.
A source backstage said: "James has already been getting in the spirit of things with his antics behind the scenes.Ha ha ha, yes. What could be more funny than that, eh? It's like that hilarious time Chuck Berry trashed his reputation and wound up paying out over a million in compensation after peeping on peeing women.
"When he found out Rihanna was next door, he thought it would be a laugh to customise his backstage area with a little peephole."
I know it's meant to be a joke, but the idea that this is funny rather than incredibly creepy doesn't bode well for next week.
Oh, but apparently, we can't say that, can we, Gordon?
On a more serious note...More serious than sexual harassment? This must be serious indeed.
I hear James has donated his £50k fee for presenting the ITV show to Comic Relief. That's a really generous gesture and a great one-finger salute to those who have criticised his selection as the master of ceremonies.It's a nice, fairly generous thing to do, but why does it make the choice of Corden to present any less awful than it was?
- Was it really a good idea to get Nick Griffin to host this year's Pride Of Britain awards?
- Oh, it's fine; he's giving his fee to charity
- Oh, that's alright then
The awfulness of the year he co-hosted with Horne wasn't because people sat at home thinking "they're being paid for this". It was because they were being awful.