Coldplay: The key word here is "nearly"

Can you imagine anything worse than Chris Martin in a tizzy?

Coldplay's roadie Matt McGinn has revealed the band's lead singer Chris Martin once nearly came to blows with bassist Guy Berryman.

Once. Nearly.

It's hardly the stuff of rock memoirs, is it?

Which is unfortunate, as Matt McGinn has tried to write a rock memoir. With an echo of Lionel's book from As Time Goes By ("it's about my life in Kenya. It's called My Life In Kenya"), McGinn has gone with My Life On The Road With Coldplay. And the fight seems to be dramatic highlight:

Matt McGinn - the band's roadie - explained: "Chris temporarily lost touch with his niceness and called his friend a **** in so venomous a fashion that our loveable Caledonian felt moved to respond thus, 'I'm going to f***ing hit you in a minute'. 'Well go on then!' came the retort, sounding more like an order than an invite.

"B****y hell, here we go, I thought. Guy has confessed to me since that at this point he became so furious that anything could have happened, and he really wasn't much more than a kilt's width from braining Chris with his vintage Fender."

That's not even an almost fight. It barely constitutes name-calling. I've seen post-it notes in fridges which are more violent than this anecdote.

God love him, you've got admire a man who spent his life carting guitars for Chris Martin, but I can't see Hollywood turning up at McGinn's house with storyboards and chequebooks.