Gordon in the morning: Plugging Kasabian

This morning, Gordon is in a mood to plug Kasabian. He starts with a tortuous football metaphor:

IF you look at the Premier League there are five teams in contention for a place in the Champions League.

Admittedly, it's a piece about Kasabian so kicking off with a dull, laddish statement probably isn't going to make any further dent in the number of people reading along.

The same goes for UK rock bands capable of the musical equivalent - selling out a stadium tour.

THE ROLLING STONES, MUSE, COLDPLAY, ARCTIC MONKEYS and now KASABIAN, who are about to join the fight thanks to their epic fourth album.

Perhaps going for the international soccer metaphor was a bad idea, given that Kasabian have only sold thirteen records in the US, and struggle elsewhere, so aren't really playing at the same level as the other four. (And no Take That or Paul McCartney? Sure, you might have to slightly stretch what you mean by "UK rock band" but if you don't mention those two isn't a bit like - rummaging for a football metaphor - only counting teams with British managers?)

Still, Gordon has heard the album:

The album features at least two of the best songs he has ever written.

Well, that's setting the bar pretty low.

Excitement is reaching fever pitch around radio stations and music mags and the band's label, Sony, have Pound signs flashing in their eyes.

Nothing says "rock and rooooolllllll" like the idea of a Japanese-based multinational electronics corporation expecting to make a large profit.

And the album, it almost goes without saying, will deliver the soundtrack for every football show for the next 18 months.

It's funny, I don't watch football shows and yet I'm already sick of hearing the music they haven't used yet.

And I bet my boots the lads will send a few shockwaves through their rivals when they hear this new album.

At last, something we can agree on. I'm sure most bands will listen to the album and go "bloody hell, that's shocking."