Gordon in the morning: Robbie Williams tricked into bed by a lobster

With all the actual news, you might have missed the sorry tale of Take That being forced to cancel a gig after Robbie Williams fell ill.

Try to avoid the story, it's full of Smart laddisms that you probably won't have heard since you were about 12:

The Take That star has spent the past 72 hours running to the bathroom on tiptoes and shouting for his pal Huey down the pan.

Smart seems to endorse the claim that it was the lobster at the hotel Williams was staying at that gave him food poisoning. Given it looks like Williams only ate the crustacean on Friday night, it's either impressive how quickly the Danes have got to the root of the incident. Or incredibly brave of Smart to point the claw so early on.