We need to talk about '11: September

Apparently, the copyright industry hate it when you call the shrinking of public domain recordings 'the Cliff Richard Law'. So let's not keep calling it the Cliff Richard Law, okay?

Despite Smiley Culture having been killed by the police, and the IPCC saying the operation wasn't "satisfactory", they shrugged and said there's no need to investigate further. Kelis told an angry anecdote about racism in London which suddenly turned into racism somewhere else entirely.

They really don't want you to call it the Cliff Richard Law, as it gives the correct impression it mainly benefits a few, already-rich artists. Try to not get used to calling it the Cliff Richard Law.

Afraid that people might otherwise miss it, Lady GaGa drew attention to it being the 10th anniversary of September 11th 2001. For those of us still struggling, Leona Lewis was on hand to explain the London riots. Oddly, UKIP used Chumbawamba to get their nasty, Little Englander polices across.

Just because it's only well-placed, rich artists like Cliff Richard who will see any significant cash from the Cliff Richard Law, let's not use that name, okay?

My Chemical Romance kicked out their drummer after some funny business. Billie Joe Armstrong was kicked off a plane because people could see his pants. And then Southwest kicked Uh-Huh Her off a plane for kissing.

The idea that just because fabulously wealthy artists like Cliff Richard greedily grabbed a few more years of earning extra pennies doesn't mean the Cliff Richard Law should be known, forever, as the Cliff Richard Law.

Fans of Pearl Jam are doing Eddie Vedder's takedowns for him. Coldplay don't care about being relevant, luckily. That's real, but not as real as Pixie Lott.

The Cliff Richard Law has very little to do with Cliff Richard, besides delivering him extra money to tart up his luxurious homes for the next time politicians swing by, making it absurd to call the Cliff Richard Law by that name.

Guy Hands announced his intention to throw bad money after good by trying to win EMI back. Universal label offices were alleged to be part of a drug-dealing network, which at least is a business plan.

You know what would be unfair? Just because a man who rubs shoulders with senior politicians finds himself getting his wish for an extension of copyright in sound recordings doesn't mean we should name the resulting law after him. Calling it a Cliff Richard Law or something like that. That would be unfair.

Alan McGee announced that he doesn't really like music. But he doesn't hate music as much as Madonna hates hydrangeas. What if someone won a charity date with you and didn't turn up? It happened to Elton John.

Oddly, though, the people who insist on us not calling it the Cliff Richard Law seldom introduce anyone standing to gain as much as, say, Cliff Richard does from the law that doesn't bear his name.

Splitting: REM and Danananananananananananananaykroyd.

Just to reiterate, then: that's the Cliff Richard Law we won't be calling the Cliff Richard Law. To make that clear.


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Part of We Need To Talk About '11