With a ladder and some glasses, you could see to Hackney marshes, if there wasn't Tinie Tempah in-between

What's that, Radio One? Your big weekend in going to be in East London this summer?

Yes, that's a brilliant idea. It's not like every bloody thing else is happening in East London this summer, is it?

I'm still at a loss as to how it makes everyone feel like the Olympics is a nation event when it's acting like a giant magnet that just sucks everything, inexorably, back into the capital.

Anyway, line-up: Plan B. Jessie J. Andy C. And some people with full surnames.