Tuesday, July 03, 2012

The Stone Roses: Or something a bit like them

Normally, there's nothing worse than being at a gig surrounded by people bellowing along. I've paid money to hear the singer, not you lot. Shut up.

Mind you, if I'd been at Heaton Park...

I think I'd have been begging the crowd to try and drown this out.

We warned you this would happen.

Over on the YouTube page for this video, stalwart Stone Roses fans - and by "stalwart" I mean 'people who were prepared to pay through the nose to see the band, but didn't know well enough or care enough to try and keep their memories safe' - are trying to argue that this, somehow, doesn't matter.

One line is to dismiss the technology - somehow, the music is recorded tolerably well but those new-fangled microphones will pick up an angel's voice, and make it sound like a wounded bear bellowing in the IKEA warehouse.

The other is to admit that, yes, it sounded dreadful, but that doesn't matter, because Ian Brown could never sing, you're paying for the performance.

Obviously, people who have splashed out a couple of hundred quid shlepping off the Heaton Park are going to try and find a way to justify to themselves what they've done; that's their right. It's almost heartbreakingly brave.

But, come on: what made The Stone Roses was the first album. It was the songs. The performance was a small plastic circle rotating as a little needle pulled across the work of John Leckie and, to a lesser extent, John Squire.

Still, if you take them at their word: where's the performance, then? Brown is tramping about the stage like someone waiting for Wildlife Services to remove an injured bear from IKEA, because he needs to pop in and buy some shelves. His performance consists of turning up in some jeans and singing badly.

Of course you had a great night. Let's just not pretend you were at a great gig.