The song list looks promising, and I find myself leaning towards Babes In Toyland. But then I think again. My not-good-enough brain kicks in. And maybe it’s ironic that I’ve fashioned myself into a vocalist (because who else is going to sing my songs?) afraid to sing karaoke. My not-good-enough brain knows that delivery is very important, and Babes In Toyland is a band with complex rhythms and strong dynamics. My not-good-enough brain tells me that I don’t really know the words to any of the songs. I don’t have confidence about singing them with a live band. My not-good-enough brain has also learned that each song would only be performed once that night. It says,”Erika, what if I get up there and ruin someone’s favorite song?” I don’t want to do that. “No,” I decide, “I won’t sing. I’ll watch how it works and maybe I’ll sing next time.”
It’s funny how I always feel so alone in my lack of confidence only to be confronted with others who seem self-assured, but struggle with the same thing. This lack of confidence, this “not-good-enough” thinking, is one of the hurdles that Riot Grrrl Karaoke seeks to demolish.