Sunday, May 19, 2013

Harry Styles hopes to cast himself as frog in popular fairy tale

Except he doesn't, of course. The story in the Daily Star Sunday is so made-up it should be illustrated with woodcuts:

A source told us: “Harry is so bored of the showbiz set and thinks it’s time to move up in the world.

“Backstage before gigs he was even trawling the internet, asking his bandmates what they thought of each girl.

“He drew up a ‘hit list’ and the only rule was they couldn’t be ­married.

“Needless to say, Pippa Middleton is on his list – at number two – but he’s aware she has a serious boyfriend.

“He also has a thing for Princess Beatrice, even though he said she’s not his ‘typical type of girl’.

“But he’s totally fascinated with Princess Eugenie. He thinks she’s got the full package of class, looks and status.”
Because, for deffo, if I was trying to pull one of the princesses I'd be using the Daily Star Sunday as a way of flagging my intentions. That's what Jane Austen would be writing about if she was alive today.

If this was true, and Harry did wind up with Eugenie, this article is going to make for awkward Christmas Dinners at Sandringham in the future.

And tricky evenings alone, come to that:
- So, Harry, am I lacking the class, the looks, or the status?

It doesn't even make sense - if Harry really was such a heel as to be worried about status, surely he'd be choosing Beatrice anyway, given that she's the closest to a Monarch as he can currently get without having to have a civil partnership?