Monday, May 20, 2013

Justin Bieber is a serious artist

Justin Bieber is very much the Michael Gove of pop, isn't he? Terrifically overpromoted, but without the wit to realise it.

So when things like this happen:

After performing twice at the Billboard Music Awards—once solo for his hit "Take You" and once with Will.i.am for "Power"—the pop singer took the stage near the end of the night to accept the first ever Milestone Award, but along with the cheers he's used to, Bieber was faced with some heavy booing.
... he has trouble processing what's going on...
Instead of heading straight to the mic, J.B. just kinda stood there a little dumbfounded, either not quite sure what to say, or just didn't care to say anything at all.
...and then just makes things worse...
After a few moments (which felt like a lifetime), Bieber finally said, "I'm 19 years old, I think I'm doing a pretty good job and basically, from my heart, I really wanna say it should really be about the music. It should be about the craft, the craft that I'm making."
...and worse:
He continued, "This is not a gimmick. I'm an artist and I should be taken seriously and all this other bull should not be spoken of. I wanna thank my manager, Scooter Braun. I wanna thank my family at home. I wanna thank my mother, my father, I wanna thank Jesus Christ. Mom, I love you so much. Dad, I love you. Little brother and sister, I love you so much. Thank you guys so much. Fans, you're incredible."
We phoned Jesus for a comment, and he told us, exclusively:

"Really? He thanked me? Oh, man. Why did he do that? Of course I love him, but that's because I painted myself into a corner 2000 years ago. If I'd known preaching tolerance would lead to me being used as a supernatural shield for a muppet who thinks he's a craftsman, I'd have worked in some get-out clauses. 'Love thy neighbour, unless he's full of it'. It's too late to change the Bible, isn't it?"


1 comment:

Houman said...

Thing is, I'm starting to kind of feel sorry for Bieber. He's only a kid, and evidently not a particularly bright one at that, so somebody needs to be handling him better and making sure he doesn't say stupid things, not to mention making sure the kid is ready for the inevitable decline that hits all kid heartthrobs when their fanbase grows up.

In ten years time Bieber will look back at all this and wince. How well he is doing at that point depends very much on the grown-ups who are supposed to be looking out for him, but evidently are not.

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