Good news for Gordon - so far, it looks like Dan Wootton hasn't been given any more days of the week to be in charge of showbiz.
This means Gordon can turn again to that battle of wits, or portions thereof, between Liam Gallagher and Robbie Williams.
About six years after Williams had the last word, Liam has come up with a response.
You might recall Williams suggested that Liam think about adding choruses to his song. Sadly, Liam's not going to take that lying down:
“We didn’t make a record to satisfy some requirements, this was our project. Robbie Williams said the record’s good but the songs have no chorus. I’d rather shoot myself in the balls than follow his advice."Just the balls, mind.
The idea that Beady Eye sprang from some sort of project, almost deconstructionist in its scope, to satisfy no requirements is a surprise. You'd have expected something a little more astonishing if that really was the case, but maybe it's like when you first let rescue birds out a cage, and they just hang around where they know because they don't know how to roam free.
Sorry, Liam, you were saying?
“I do not listen to other music, so I don’t get my inspiration from anybody else, but maybe I should buy an iPod.”An iPod. Bless. Maybe he'll look into buying a fax machine and getting Ceefax too.
But Liam, your claim that you don't listen to other music is a lie, and not even an interesting one, given how you were praising Emeli Sande the other day.
Meanwhile, Beady Eye have been asked to change the cover of their record because it has nipples on it.
Liam pretends to be anything other than delighted that anyone has even noticed he's got a record out:
Liam said: “Everyone has nipples, they could have put tape on it if they had to.”... after all, it's not like any shop is going to have many copies; it'd only take a minute or so, right?
I think the real tragedy for Liam is that, if there has been an angry battle being fought over the oh-so-obvious 'put a tit on the sleeve, generate some publicity' move, nobody seems to have noticed that, either.
Gordon concludes this dash through the mind of Mr G by capturing his reaction to the cool response to the album from people who got past the sleeve:
He’s also not been best pleased by some of the reviews it’s had.It's not really a good mantra to live by, though, is it? I suppose many bands past their prime do continue to make a decent living from touring, but given that Gallagher is already edging into "and do you have a smaller auditorium available" booking territory, "making a record which sells some copies" might be a better mantra to live by.
He added: “Ultimately the only thing I care about is how people react to the live shows.”
Good mantra to live by.
Still: Liam doesn't care what people say about the record.
Which is surprising news, since about four paragraphs back he was preparing to shoot his own balls off in response to, erm, Robbie William's capsule review.