Britney Spears: Resident evils

Britney Spears is putting down roots in Las Vegas. Kind-of:

The singer finally ended weeks of buzz and made it official Tuesday morning, with an appearance on Good Morning America. On Dec. 27, the now 31-year-old former teen star will begin a two-year residency at Planet Hollywood, performing 50 shows over that period.

She's going to a burger bar one a fortnight. Is that a residency? On that basis, I'm currently about four years into a residency at Pizza Express.

Seriously: if it's popping in from time to time, it's not a residency, is it? Seriously, she could fit in half-a-dozen of her trademark Vegas marriages between shows. Not just the weddings; the whole marriage.

She said that her upcoming show would mix old and new hits, with an atmosphere that's part dance club, part theater.

Or "doing a cabaret", as it's known.

"We wanted the environment to be that way so people could come and have a good time and stand up and feel like they're in the show with me," Spears said. "I love Vegas. The energy here is really, really good."

"We didn't want them to have chairs. Or anything else they could throw. I love Madison Square Garden - change if they turn us down - because some vaguely-defined variable is quantifiable in some equally vague way" read Britney from a card, yesterday.