Glastonbury 2014: This morning, possibly

In a hotel somewhere around Bristol, team Kasabian gather in a breakfast room. They spend some time choosing between the complimentary muffins and the complimentary danish. One of them asks for lager. Told he can't have lager, he makes a fuss. A member of the hotel team gets a can of lager from somewhere. One of Kasabian suddenly realises that he's going to have to drink lager with his coco pops. Not for the first time, he wonders if he's made a terrible mistake.

The band sit down at a table in the corner with tablets and newspapers. One speaks.

- So, lads, last night. We closed Glastonbury. We headlined Glastobury. We owned that place. What's the world saying about this new Kasabian era?
- Erm... well, this paper is just all about Dolly Parton.
- Yeah, so's this one.
- This one too.
- They're all about Dolly Parton? What about the internets?
- Well, our fans seem to have chattered about us a bit
- Yeah, but... mostly...
- Yeah, it's mostly about Dolly Parton
You could feel sorry for Kasabian: They wait for years to become top of the bill, and still end up going on five hours after the headline act.