If you tell us all the jokes, it won't actually be funny

Nice to see that while he won't take part in something useful like Stephen Fry's HIV documentary, George Michael is happy to turn up in any and all Christmas specials on offer: he's added Extras to Catherine Tate.

The Mirror has effectively rendered Michael's appearance pointless, by detailing what he's going to do in the programme in such detail they could use it as a DVD extra.