Radio One More Time: A King In New York

Considering that much of its daily business is related to an artform born in the United States, the modern Radio One doesn't bother itself overmuch with what happens in America. Oh, sure, Newsbeat might keep a watching eye on the Kanye West - Fifty Cent battle, but these days the actual detail of the American charts are of no interest to the station.

It wasn't always so, of course: right through the 1980s, Paul Gambaccini would pop-up, week-in, week-out, filling Saturday afternoon with a run-down of what was doing well in America. Despite Gambaccini's enthusiasm for the music, and his natural skills as a broadcaster, he never shone, being forced to work with one of the most depressing source materials known to man. The Billboard Hot 100 was as dull then as it is today, and you'd find yourself sitting through an awful lot of music inappropriately filed as "radio-friendly rock" to get to anything even as appetising as a Bangles or a Go-Go or a Til Tuesday.

That the drabness wasn't Gambo's fault was shown when he got the chance to break free from the chart chains - sitting in for holidaying jocks, or hosting The Other Side of the Facts, the bizarre spin-off from his Rock God Hagiography series for Channel 4, The Other Side of the Tracks. This Sunday afternoon confection, co-presented by his Guiness Hit Singles colleague Tim Rice, was little more than an illustrated Did You Know...; the atomic trivia-powered brains of the pair lifting the programme way above the sort of well-worn factoid that you'd get on the Steve Wright in the Afternoon show.

There was another regular slot dedicated to Americana around the same time, too: A King In New York. Probably the shortest programme ever to get a regular slot on Radio One, this was the pop culture answer to Letter From America, with Jonathan King taking the role of the essayist. We'd love to know how many BBC producers it took to persuade him the first word of the title should be "a" and not "the".

It's worth recording that, with his knowledge and passion for all things American, King's weekly short could actually stand shoulder to shoulder with Alistair Cook's and was much more than a simple radio precursor of Entertainment USA. Indeed, the decision to end the programme came from King himself rather than any negative feedback from audiences - with a typically self-aggrandising flourish, in the last programme King explained that he was travelling around the world so much, either he'd have to give up the programme altogether or change its name weekly to reflect the fabulous locale in which he found himself at time of recording. To the audible relief of the typesetters at the Radio Times, he chose the former route.

[Part of Radio One More Time]

The King and the Doctor

After Dave Mustaine's UN song, here's another grudge-carrying pop star with a, shall we say, curious interpretation of facts, as Jonathan King writes a tune for Harold Shipman. In it, King suggests that Shipman was less a murderous bastard who topped the elderly as soon as they became troublesome, more a kindly, Jack Kervorkian type who was bringing a gentle end:

"Police will inflate and the law says it's fine to accommodate tabloids with a solid headline
But a real psycho monster who's killing for fame would leave notes for acclaim to establish his name

"Some people will sigh when they're waiting to die
Won't you please speed it up as I'm starting to cry
There's one thing he ain't and that's saviour or saint
But a pleading complaint didn't pass him by"

Ah... so he wasn't a monster because he didn't want to get caught killing dozens in order to become famous. It's an interesting take on the law - that you don't only have to prove a criminal had an intention to commit a crime, but also that they were only doing so to get on the news.

It's not clear if King has bothered to read any of the evidence of inquiries into the people he killed, like Winifred Arrowsmith, a 70 year-old who was in remarkably good health until a visit from Shipman where he "found her dead". We suspect he hasn't - after all, King's interest is well-documented as laying at the other end of the human lifecycle.

Of course, when pressed, King reveals that - as with everything else he's ever done - the song isn't about Shipman at all, but how hard done by he is:

"It is actually not really about Harold Shipman. It's about the tendency of the media, the police and the CPS to inflate and exaggerate in order to get convictions and headlines and circulation and ratings increases."

King has previously suggested that his conviction for having sex with fourteen and fifteen year-old boys made him a little like Oscar Wilde; oddly, now he's claiming kinship with Shipman - not the most obvious choice for lashing a bid for rehabilitation to.

The trouble is, if you're going to start raving about inaccuracy in media coverage and police procedures, you should probably start by making sure that you're at least in possession of a degree of accuracy yourself. And to suggest that the media somehow invented Shipman to boost circulations is to fail completely to understand how Shipman got away with it in the first place - because who in the media, or the police, or CPS, would even notice the quiet but unusually common deaths of old people in a corner of Manchester?

Quick updates

BRMB wound up with a fifteen thousand pound fine for the "sit on some ice" stunt; Jonathon King has been refused the right of appeal over his fucking underage people conviction.

Quick question

Knowing there's nothing the British tabloids love so much as an unrepentant paedophile to hold up to chill their reader's blood, isn't it curious there's not been a peep in the redtops about Jonathan King's self-serving posts from prison? How come, for example, Rebekah Wade - who as editor of the News of the World encouraged her 'readers' to form vigilante mobs - seems to think there's nothing of interest in King continuing to promote his worldview from a cell?

For what its worth, No Rock has no problem with him banging on all he likes. But we think its odd that the Mail, Sun et al don't want to run a story that would seem to be tailor made for its "all prisons are like Butlins/Kiddie fiddlers on the prowl/they're all at it" take on British Society? You can't help wondering if there's some sort of reason they don't want to get on the wrong side of the man who recorded Una Paloma Blanca.

The King is half-undressed

Doubtless Pete Townshend will be delighted at Jonathan King's kind words of support for him on the Tip Sheet. Pausing only to murmur how sad it is about Maurice "I knew him well in the sixties" Gibb, King then suggests its "even sadder" about Pete Townshend (because, after all, being caught buying kiddie porn really does knock dying young after a screwed-up operation into a cocked hat, doesn't it?

King continues:

"but I warned you all when it happened to me. The unholy alliance between police and media, combined with Britain's extraordinary sex laws has meant its open season on celebrities.

But hold on Jonathon, weren't you convicted of sexually abusing minors - not the same thing at all. Indeed, at least publicly, hasn't Townshend been saying how angry people like you make him?

"Whether it's false allegations provoked by publicity as it was for me, and will be for Pete, John Leslie and all the others, or, true past skeletons coming out of star's closets, it's going to get worse. Watch out for those tabloid Pete stories acquired by agents like Maxi boy. I see there are now senior politicians in the frame. Could that be ugly rumours? (all you need for conviction, evidence is not necessary)."

This is just pure bollocks, isn't it? Apart from anything, Townshend said he went to the police himself a couple of months ago. And while false allegations are certainly worrying - we see Van Morrison's shaken off those allegations about sexual harassment - what's the problem with celebrities who've sexually exploited children being exposed? "True past skeletons" are, you know, Jon, crimes. Are you really suggesting if you're famous you should be allowed to get away with buggering small boys?

And "all you need is ugly rumours -[clever wording, King - cheers] - evidence is not necessary" is just extreme ridiculous. Indeed, Gary Glitter's case shows that the interest of the press tends to work in the person's favour, since it was the press involvement that led to his acquittal in the trial over him shagging that fourteen year old. Evidence is still all. You got caught. I hope that your lack of remorse is noted by the parole board.

"What I want to know is - do they do kiddie porn in braille?"

Maybe you should ask one of your contacts?