I have a collection; you are a hoarder; he is... what the hell is he?

Most people who love records have a problem, as passion turns to festishism. But however you feel about your shelves of 12 inch singles, or piles of CDs, you can take comfort that you're not as bad as Zero Freitas, a wealthy Brazilian on a mission to buy all the vinyl in the world.

How many records does he have? He's got interns trying to catalogue the collection, at 500 discs a day, but they'll never succeed because he adds music faster than they can catalogue.

It's not just an obsession, though: there is a mission, too:

While Freitas thumbed through those records, Bastos was warning of a future in which some music might disappear unnoticed. Most of the American and British records Freitas has collected have already been digitally preserved. But in countries like Brazil, Cuba and Nigeria, Bastos estimated, up to 80 percent of recorded music from the mid-20th century has never been transferred. In many places, he said, vinyl is it, and it’s increasingly hard to find. Freitas slumped, then covered his face with his hands and emitted a low, rumbling groan. “It’s very important to save this,” he said. “Very important.”

eBay deal turns sour

Americans. They're not like the British. We learned the hard way never to trust an eye-catching auction bid, when that giant Blue Peter chocolate bar turned out not to be worth a million quid after all. Americans, though, didn't go through that experience so when someone bid three million dollars on eBay for that massive record collection, they didn't smell a rat. Of course, now the owner of the account on which the bid came claims he's been a victim of identity theft.

Do you need some more music?

For fifty years, Paul Mawhinney has been buying records. He's now got three million of them and - as his health starts to decline - he's looking for a buyer for his entire collection. He wants to find a caring buyer:

The History of American music belongs in a museum or a library; a place where people who love music and have an interest in history and popular American culture can look, listen, touch, read and appreciate this legacy for future generations. It could be part of a stand-alone music museum, a major exhibit in an existing museum, or the basis of a university music library. Cleverly arranged and displayed, and surrounded by additional cultural memorabilia, the collection could even become a tourist attraction.

We’re seeking a buyer who will guarantee to keep the collection intact (other than to sell duplicate copies, if so desired) and to keep the music alive for the enjoyment and music lovers, now and for years to come.

If you represent a museum, library, university, or charitable foundation, or you’re a philanthropist interested in purchasing the collection and donating it, please contact the owner’s representatives for more information, pricing and a personal on-site inspection.

Oddly, though, he's seeking this philanthropist through eBay. The opening bid being sought is three million dollars, but there is good news...

You can get ten quid back on that if you use an eBay credit card.