Nick Cave wrote a sequel to Gladiator

If you were going to come up with a sequel to a popular Hollywood hit movie, would you put in a call to Nick Cave?

No, we wouldn't, either. But Russell Crowe is not like us, and thought Cave would be the man for the job. Despite it being Nick Cave, and his character being dead.

Cave came up with a plot. Or possibly lost one. Hard to say:

"So, he goes down to purgatory and is sent down by the gods, who are dying in heaven because there's this one god, there's this Christ character, down on Earth who is gaining popularity and so the many gods are dying so they send Gladiator back to kill Christ and his followers.

I wanted to call it Christ Killer," Cave continues. "And in the end you find out that the main guy was his son, so he has to kill his son and he was tricked by the gods. He becomes this eternal warrior and it ends with this 20 minute war scene which follows all the wars in history, right up to Vietnam and all that sort of stuff and it was wild."

It's hard to believe this movie was never made, isn't it?

It's a pity they didn't give the new Star Wars trilogy to Nick.

Gordon in the morning: Overplayed overdoses

Today's Bizarre online leads with a big splash trumpeting:

Truth of Amy's TWO overdoses

Oddly, given the space online dedicated to this story - bylined Virgina Wheeler - it doesn't make the print version of Bizarre and seems to be nowhere near the front of the paper, either. (The headline today is that the paper has helped nab a bloke who was trying to sell "sexy" snaps of William and Kate. These were pictures taken of them on holiday; frustratingly for the Sun, they were on a stolen camera and so the paper has had to do one of its 'how good are we, not getting involved' stories.

So, why the shyness over the Amy Overdose story - perhaps because it's really weak - sourced to a "pal" who somehow also seems to be a psychiatric expert:

“She is in need of years of psychiatry and medical treatment if she has a hope.”

And it's not really anything surprising or new. The surprise is not how downplayed the tale is in the paper, but how prominent it is online. It's almost like the Sun is just invading her privacy on this occasion to try and keep the right of way open.

Meanwhile, Bizarre proper is marked by a spot of lame photoshoppery inspired by the possibility of Russell Crowe playing Doctor Watson. Actually, I say photoshoppery - it's more like they've got Crowe to sit in one of those photobooths that superimposes cartoon hats and moutstaches on your face. It truly is a sight to see.

Never mind how much you got for your soul, what's the going rate for artistic credibility?

Chrissie Hynde is doing vocal work for Fifty Odd Foot of Grunts, the sub-dogstar "side project" for brawling actor Russell Crowe. Worse, they're suggesting 50OFOG might support the Pretenders on their next US tour. Although I spose that'll give Pretenders fans a few extra minutes to sort out the babysitter and find a place to park the SUV.