Jarvis Cocker: Made of cake

Sheffield pop star Jarvis becomes one of the cake people

Sorry... what did you just say, Sheffield Star?

Bespectacled Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker, along with Louis Tomlinson from One Direction, have both had their likenesses moulded out of cake, complete with edible painted icing.

This is to celebrate Yorkshire Day. And to be fair, the one on the right is meant to be Judi Dench and not Louis Tomlinson.

Between 10th & 11th Weekend: Ignition

Not the most-obvious choice for a second track on an album, a song called Ignition. This is the 2008 version of the band playing the track in Sheffield:



[Part of Between 10th & 11th weekend]

The Charlatans Some Friendly weekend: Opportunity

There's only something slightly depressing in the realisation that when The Charlatans played Opportunity last year in Sheffield, it was old enough to buy a drink in the bar:



[Part of Some Friendly weekend]

Little Man Tate call it a day

Little Man Tate have decided the world has won, and will wrap up their activities with a farewell date in Sheffield this October. Here's what they said:

The land of LMT has been quiet for some time now and I suppose now is as good a time as any to break the sad news that we've decided to call it a day as Little Man Tate and bring to an end what has been an amazing 4 years of tours around the world, singles in the hit parade and some of the best times of our lives.

Without dragging this on too much, it's something that we have sat down and discussed at length for a while now and we have decided that after a good innings, we've achieved what we set out to do and it's time we moved on to other things. We're all still good mates and we'll carry on supporting each other whatever we decide to go on and do from here. What we do know is that you, the fans, made it all possible for us and we'll never forget the loyalty you've showed us over the years and the unbelievably joyous atmospheres you've managed to create from as far away as Tokyo to our beloved streets of Sheffield. We're going to do one last gig in Sheffield in October so we can get the chance to bid farewell to you all and to say ta for all the good times. It's been an amazing journey since the summer of 2005 and one we'll never forget so, signing off for one last time, see you all in a couple of months.

Sheffield Arena patronises older people

I can't be sure, but judging by Sheffield Arena's attitude to Cliff Richard fans, I'd imagine they did that over-emphasised, over-loud way of talking when they issued the ban on queuing for tickets: "It's not safe, dear... NOT SAFE to be out all night AT YOUR AGE..."

No other band - or rather, their demographic - has been told they can't queue. Sheffield Arena try to explain their reasoning:

Simon Bailey, the marketing manager at the Sheffield Arena, said staff had a “duty of care” which they would not be able to provide if customers were camping outside the arena for days at a time.

He added: “We are unable to staff the queue to ensure customer safety and the area isn’t suitable for people to be camping out exposed to the elements.

“We also often have events on in the arena that require a clear entrance and exit through the area where the queues form. We have no services available such as toilet and wash facilities.”

Hold on, Simon: this are only Cliff Richard tickets, it's not like they're going to be setting up a permanent Greenham style camp outside your unlovely venue. If you're that bloody concerned, why don't you just say you'll let anyone queuing use the toilets inside the arena? Presumably you have some inside - or are you expected to piss in a bottle and take it home with you when you see a band there? Could you not even come up with some sort of virtual queue? And how come you patronisingly think that Cliff fans need nannying just because they're not as young as you are? Do you think once you're past forty you lose the ability to decide if you're capable of making it through a night in a sleeping bag?

Most places would be thrilled that they had something on offer that people would spend the night queuing for - it'd be calls to the local media to come down and meet the superfans and rustling up some mulled wine for the dedicated.

If Cliff has any integrity, he'd be telling Sheffield that if they don't think they can take care of his biggest fans when they're taking money off him, he can't imagine they can take care of them on the night of the gig, and look for another venue.

Charlotte Hatherley weekend: The Name Of The Game

A spot of Abba covering now, from Plug in Sheffield last October:



[Part of the Charlotte Hatherley weekend]

Brown bottled off

Josh Homme thinks he's got problems. It's one thing to have people throw stuff at you at a festival, but when the audience is tossing bottles at you when you're headlining, something's gone hugely awry.

That's what happened to Ian Brown - bottled off stage at his own gig in Sheffield, and left with a nasty eye injury. He still turned up to do his Isle Of Wight set yesterday, though, in the unlikely position of hoping for a better reception from a field audience.

Shiny new band: Slow Down Tallahassee

They're not from Tallahassee. They're from Sheffield. But they are rather fine.



Find out more about them over on the MySpaces.

Win prizes: Get to be quite near Marti Pellow

A heartbreaking tale from the latest batch of Advertising Standards Authority judgements, about a person who entered the Sheffield Star's Meet Wet Wet Wet competition, and won, only to find:

although she was in the vicinity of the band, she did not meet them.

Understandably, 'be in the vicinity of Wet Wet Wet' hadn't been considered as an attractive offer for the front of the paper, but the paper tried to mount a defence:

Sheffield Newspapers claimed that the chance to "meet" the band, as described in the front-page flash, meant the chance to be in their presence, to encounter them and to come together at the spectacle. They argued that the prize was detailed in the competition copy itself and delivered as described.

Furthermore, they said, the organisers let two of the prize winner's mates in for free and:

They asserted that the winner and her guests were in the presence of the band and that the lead singer blew the winner a kiss.

Come on, how much more of a meeting do you want than having someone mime a kiss from across a room at you?

Understandably, the ASA was having none of this:

We considered readers would understand from the claim "meet ..." that winners would come face to face with the band and would have the opportunity to interact with them in some way, for example by speaking to them or being photographed with them.

Indeed, trying to tell people that being in the same place as someone constitutes having a meeting with them - isn't that what low-level stalkers do?

The Homing League

Good news and bad news for Sheffielders: The Human League is heading to do a hometown gig; the bad news is, it's to mark the opening of a Carling Academy in the city. April 20th marks both the gig and the further march of the same-same-same venue chain.

Gate crashes

Sheffield nightclub Gatecrasher has collapsed after a massive fire. A massive, massive one:

One onlooker told BBC Radio Sheffield: "It is a shame - it was one of the best clubs in Sheffield."

Smoke from the blaze could earlier be seen for miles across the city.

Eyewitnesses said plumes of smoke gradually spread across the city centre and turned from a dark grey colour to thick white to yellow cloud.

Sheffield city centre resident Kirsten Law said: "I was on the phone when I first noticed it and thought the whole development was on fire.

"I've had to go around closing all the windows because the smell of the smoke's so strong and have been watching the charred bits fly past the window, and I'm on the other side of town from Gatecrasher."

Mark UK has photos of the club in flames (well, smoke) on Flickr; as does RXSPN and there's also this one, from Alleroo, which captures a spooky juxtaposition.

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: The merits of Monkeys

It's always delightful to hear from Gennaro Castaldo - HMV's spokesperson seems to be quieter these days, but we'd imagine as his employers are having a lean time of it he's having to help out down in the stock room at the moment.

Still, the release of a new Arctic Monkeys record is something of an occasion, so he's popped up in a wire piece with his explanation of those first-day sales:

HMV's Gennaro Castaldo said: `"It was always going to be next to impossible to match or beat the phenomenal first day sales of Whatever People Say I Am... but coming this close is a fantastic result which underlines the band's status as the UK's number one rock act.

"People are buying this album not because of the media hype, but because it's had great reviews and they can't wait to hear it.

"Favourite Worst Nightmare is easily the fastest selling album of the year to date.

"If sales continue at this pace, they should certainly top the quarter million mark, which would not only give the band a sure-fire number one, but leave them well-placed to claim the biggest album of 2007."

We're not entirely sure we could be as confident as Castaldo in distinguishing between "media hype" and "great reviews", but we love the apparent suggestion that people are buying it specifically because of the reviews - "Yeah, I wasn't going to bother but the warm words of the Daily Telegraph have convinced me..."

Actually, we thought the reviews were a little less enthusiastic than last time around, although there was something of the sense of "am I meant to pretend to like this a lot, or are we meant to be slowly distancing ourselves in case its a flop?" in more than one of the reviews we've read.

Meanwhile, The Guardian hoofed up to HMV's Sheffield outpost, which had opened at midnight to sell the album. Gennaro seemed to be too busy to offer the official line on this one:

HMV management was as expectant yesterday as the fans queueing outside its Sheffield store: "[This album] is great news for the industry as a whole, but for specialist retailers it's key," said Mel Armstrong, the chain's music manager. "It's generally a given that indie-type bands tend to sell proportionately more across specialist chains and independent shops, because you have fans who want to enjoy the whole process of buying it, rather than just downloading from the internet."

Yes, we do think Mel was suggesting that HMV sees itself as a "specialist and independent" type retailer, although anyone who's set foot in an HMV in the last five years would be hard pushed to see any sort of specialisation in music sales.

Monkeys keep a secret

Giving a first proper outing to some of the stuff that will make up the new album, Favourite Worst Nightmare, during a sort-of surprise Sheffield Leadmill show. Everyone who went said it was lovely.

Monkeys shop themselves

When he bumped into a fan while out shopping in Sheffield, Arctic Monkey Alex Turner whipped out his laptop and played a forthcoming b-side. We hope it was a fan, anyway.

Whoever he was, Ian Theasby was impressed:

Ian Theasby told NME.COM the track "could be one one of the most classic B-sides for the greatest hits in 10 years time".

As good as one of the better tracks on a contractual-fulfilment album, eh? Can't wait.

Why live a little? Live a Lotto

While the official line might be that the handing over of the old National Pop Music centre to Hallam Uni was just a straight swap - building for some land - the University itself has circulated an internal document which suggests they see it as a purchase:

"You may have heard that the Board of Governors this week gave their approval to the University's plan to purchase the former National Centre for Popular Music for £1.85 million."

Clearly, it's up to the university what they do with their money, but we wonder if the land-swap angle has been played up in order to avoid the tricky question of why, if the University have coughed up nearly GBP2million, this money isn't being handed straight back to the National Lottery.

While we understand that the two mills worth of land is going to be put to work for the good of the people of Sheffield (or at least those who are getting the benefits of the city's regeneration programme), surely the original grants that built the building were intended for some other use than that, and as such, any money at all raised from their sale should be returned to the Arts Council, who used our money to fund GBP11m of the GBP 15m costs?