Gordon in the morning: Fashion advice shunned

Poor Gordon isn't happy: Lily Allen has ignored his fashion advice, prompting that what-is-he-thirteen "look you can see her nipples" "She's hiding Smarties down her top" joke that he does every time.

Elesewhere, he reports on some sort of battle amongst people who have sex with footballers. Fiona Barratt (who is girlfriend of Sol Campbell, apparently in lieu of a career) moans about Victoria Beckham on what appears to be grounds of being less than famous than her. People tried to take pictures of Beckham during the world cup, it turns out. Just fancy that.