Goodnight, Vienna

As Michael M points out, the massively over-promised and then rapidly junked Michael Jackson tribute gig echoes the massively over-promised and rapidly vanished Jacko Katrina and 9/11 benefit singles.

The plans for an enormous gig in Vienna in a couple of weeks' time have now been ripped up. Out goes the idea of honouring Jackson's love of castles and The Sound Of Music, because it turns out that the promises to appear were as vague as Jacko's connection to Vienna. Jermaine explains:

“A little more than five weeks ago I began, together with my partners in Vienna, to work on the Tribute Concert. As you can imagine staging a show of this monumental dimension in less than eight weeks is a daunting challenge,” he said.
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“I personally have spoken to many international artists and invited them to attend The Tribute and perform one of Michael’s songs. Several leading artists immediately agreed to participate in this unique tribute show. Many others told me personally that it would be a great honor to be part of this memorial concert for my late brother – an artist who influenced the music world like virtually no other.

“However, due to the short time frame involved it just was not possible for many of them to change their schedule so that they could be on stage in Vienna on September 26th.”

They all totally wanted to be there, and they said so, but... obviously Chris Brown couldn't make it, and Mary J Blige is helping her cousin move that day, and Stevie Wonder would have come but he's got plans to do something the next day... and... yeah, Janet has reservations at the Red Lobster on the evening and she's been waiting weeks to get in so... yeah, we'll do it in London. Next year.

"We have therefore decided, after careful consideration, to reschedule The Tribute concert for my brother to June 2010 and to stage this very special music event at Wembley Stadium in London.

"Here, over 70,000 fans will have the opportunity to experience the life and music of my beloved late brother. We will hold the concert in the city that he himself chose for his comeback concerts but, due to his tragic death, he was not able to do."

Weren't these meant to be his farewell concerts?

Oh, and don't be thinking it's going to be a bunch of second-string acts like Brown and Blige. Because... hey, they're huge stars in their own right:

"When artists who have won 8 Grammy Awards and sold millions of records around the world and are able to sell out large stadiums are then called 'B-list artists', are made fun of and generally disrespected, is something I just cannot understand. If these artists are not welcome in Vienna, London is more than happy to have them”.

Nobody was making fun of Chris Brown, Jermaine - they were pointing out that the best tribute you can find for Michael is a bloke who would have to negotiate his curfew in order to attend.

Still, we look forward to this all happening in June 2010 at Wembley, or failing that sometime winter 2011, perhaps in Dubai. Certainly in the next couple of years, and almost for deffo in a place where you can fit lots and lots of people. The Peterborough Civic Centre people are offering to do a finger buffet for free if we're able to schedule for a Thursday afternoon.

The Jackson memorial gig is shaping up to be quite, quite special

Jermaine Jackson has been in London today, pushing a wonderful live music event. Oh, yeah, in memory of thingumabob. But mostly the event.

Where to start? First, perhaps, with the news that Chris Brown is hoping to take part:

"Chris Brown is working out some situations but he definitely expressed to us that he wants to be here," Jackson said at a press conference in London.

"It's just up to what he's going through with his court case right now - but he's definitely going to work that out and be here."

Ah, yes, "some situations" - or "he's receiving a light punishment for beating a woman's face in" as you might choose to describe it if you were less generous.

Jackson said that, despite the negative publicity surrounding Brown's court case, he was happy for the singer to take part.

"People make mistakes and he's a wonderful performer and during these times people need support and that's really important," he said.

I'm not even sure - if pressed - Celebrity Big Brother's (and, of course, the celebrity's big brother) Jermaine could explain exactly what he means by that. It sounds like he's saying 'well, whoops-a-daisy, he smashed a woman's face, but who hasn't? Besides, we could all do with a dance to cheer ourselves up."

It also sounds a little like JJ is implying that - somehow - the painkillery death of Michael is of a piece with the credit crisis, the war in Afghanistan, the continued provision of a public platform to Glenn Beck and the many other ailments of a planet. That the death horseman was only interested in Jacko and now his job is done.

And that must be what Jermaine meant - for if by "during these times" he simply means the cancellation of a lucrative fifty-night run at the O2 arena, then surely not even Chris Brown - even if he was a musical genius, and not merely a thuggish label confection - would be able to fill that hole.

In fact, it's as if Jermaine has had that thought anyway. For he knows that the only celebrity with the power to fill the gap left by Michael (assuming Oprah and Martha Stewart can't sort out a cover of I Know Him So Well in time) is... well, Jackson.

Simply because Michael is dead isn't going to stop him turning up at his own memorial. Disappointingly, the current plan is not for him to hang around at the back in an unlikely beard claiming to be called Martin Wellborn, but instead he'll "appear" onstage.

God alone knows. A projector of some sort? Some "previously unseen footage"? All we do know is that this reanimated Jacko will be singing along with Jermaine.

It's what Michael would have wanted. Although not so much he invited Jermaine to duet with him when he was alive.

Channel 4 News was reporting that this misbegotten event is going to take place in Vienna because Michael "loved castles and The Sound Of Music". And not, then, because Jermaine fancied a trip to Austria.

Did Jacko love The Sound Of Music? You could understand the appeal of a story about a family of singing kids where it was the father who got forced to perform because of an overbearing presence, but I'm not sure I've ever heard of him doing Lonely Goatherd as an encore. A quick Google brings up a discussion which suggests Charmain Carr, who played Liesl Von Trapp, did some interior design for him in the past (without a happy ending) but that's hardly a conenction that would persuade most families to hold their gentle farewells in a different continent.

Donald ducks off

Surprisingly, despite the absence of Howard Donald, you could barely spot the difference in Take That's Vienna gig.

Donald has sustained a chest injury onstage - presumably the choreography was designed to show off his heavy lifting skills - and was in hospital while the others went on with the show:

"I've never had to miss a show before, it's unbelievably frustrating being sat in a hospital when I should be on stage with the guys."

... while desperately hoping that they wouldn't fail to notice his absence.