Live Music Awards: Prepare to be surprised; shocked, even

By one of those absolutely amazing coincidences that you could almost imagine proves an unseen hand shapes everything that happens in the universe, Primal Scream were the biggest winners at the Vodafone Live Music Awards last night - the very same event they'd been booked to provide a three-song closing performance for. The Primals picked up Best Live Act - yes, really - and outstanding contribution.

The Ting Tings - who entertained the crowd - won the breakthrough award; and even Emma Bunton admitted she was surprised the Spice Girls had beaten Led Zep to the comeback prize - how fortunate none of the Zep were there to see her pick up the award; that could have been awkward.

As seems to be the case with most of the b-list awards ceremonies, nobody has bothered to update the official website with a full list of winners - indeed, the site this morning claims they're still going to announce the bands who will be playing last night "soon", which suggests even the organisers don't really take it seriously. If I were Vodafone, I'd be wondering if it was worth sponsoring an event that can't even be arsed to update the site properly.

Iron Maiden: No, seriously, don't call it a comeback

Iron Maiden have thrown a little strop and demanded their names be removed from the shortlist for the Vodaphone Live Music Awards.

The band are humped they were up for 'best live return':

In a message on their web site, the band told people not to cast votes for them because they "are not quite sure where we are returning from.

"We have asked them to remove us from the nominations and they have done this," the message adds.

The event organisers, we're given to understand, admitted they'd been dubious about including Iron Maiden in the category in the first place, although it wasn't words 'live return' they'd been unsure about.

Live Music Awards also hung up on Winehouse

As if to prove that the Vodafone Live Music Awards are a buttock short of being half-arsed, not only did they throw it out on the same night as the MOBOs, but it got thrown completely into the shade by its urban rival.

The prize winners:

Best female live act: Amy Winehouse
Best male: Mika
Best production: Kylie Minogue Showgirl tour
Best live band: Arctic Monkeys
Breakthrough: Klaxons

Same winners as everyone else, then.