Gordon in the morning: Wrestling with Kasabian

Apparently unaware that using pseudonyms when you sign in to hotels is meant to increase your anonymity rather than draw attention to yourself, Kasabian check in under the names of WWE wrestlers. Gordon is delighted:

You won't see SERGE PIZZORNO, TOM MEIGHAN, CHRIS EDWARDS, IAN MATTHEWS, JAY MEHLER or BEN KEALEY on the register at the Travel Lodge in Bournemouth.

Oh no. The boys have been checking in under the names HULK HOGAN, RIC FLAIR and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN among others - though there's been no sign of The Rock yet.

Brilliant.

Well, brilliant in a "actually, they're more famous than you are and you're drawing attention to yourself rather than not." To be frank, even a Kasabian fan working a desk wouldn't raise an eyebrow at a Chris Edwards booking in.

Was that, though, an uncharacteristic dig at Kasabian from Gordon there? Signing in at the Travelodge in Bournemouth? I'd say that was about their level, but aren't you meant to be a fan, Mr. Smart?

Managerobit: Chase Tatum

Chase Tatum, road manager of Outkast, has been found dead in hisBuckhead, Georgia apartment.

Prior to turning his hand to hip-hop management, Tatum had been a wrestler with the now-defunct World Campionship Wrestling Organisation; it's possible that his career of theatrical sport led to his persistent back problems; the back problems led to surgery; the surgery led to painkillers and, sadly, an apparently accidental overdose of painkillers led to his death.

His entry into wrestling had been through a client of his body-building business; his career lasted just over two years with a crocked back and no health insurance to pay for it to be fixed. His work with Outkast (and especially as Big Boi's personal assistant) had helped him turn things around; a part in the movie Who's Your Caddy had brought him to notice of producers planning a movie to be shot in New York.

His father claimed that Tatum had planned to enter rehab to cope with his painkiller addiction. He was 34.

Gordon finds his feet

Still, lets be fair to Gordon, it's his first proper day and he probably had to balance writing the column with trying to price a three-bedroom semi-detached in Ruislip,so what else does he have?

Pictures of Jordan's breasts (sorry, "bangers", a word that Smart seems determined to make his own); someone has sent him a photo of Dannii Minogue wearing a tshirt and Amy Winehouse has a secret love of wrestling.

Eh?

Wrestling?

Now, if ever a story sounds like someone ringing up the Smartline - 020 7782 4036, according to the desperate plea for stories at the top of the page - and making something up for shits and grins, Amy Winehouse's love of WWE would be it, but let's assume that it's a true story. You or I might have given it a small, Sunspot style nib at the bottom. Gordon, though, has seized it with both hands, and gone to the extent of imagining what Amy would be like if she was a wrestler. Trained by, erm, Pete Doherty.