NOT QUITE AS CHARMING: The London Evening Standard is reporting that Isaac "son of Bryan" Ferry has been suspended from Eton:
"The son of rock star Bryan Ferry has been suspended from Eton after sending a hate mail to an anti-hunting campaigner.
Keen huntsman Isaac Ferry, 16, fired off an offensive message to Simon Wild, who runs a wildlife rescue service and badger protection group.
It read: "You are a f***ing looser [sic]. Why don't you stop waisting [sic] your time and get a real job/hobby,you c***?"
Mr Wild, of West Sussex Wildlife Protection Group, lodged complaints with the police and Eton, w here fees are £18,000 a year. He said: "The email was very upsetting both to me and my family."
A spokesman for Isaac's father, Roxy Music frontman Bryan, said: "I can confirm that Isaac has been suspended from Eton." Teachers at Eton were said to be "deeply shocked" by the incident."
So they should be - you pay all that money for an education and that's the quality of the hate mail they come up with? Jesus. Of course, the closest thing that Isaac Hayes has to a real job is fannying about on a catwalk, and his hobby consists of ripping up animals, so it's not like he's a spoiled wanker or anything, is it?

NO, REALLY, THIS WEEK IS THE LAST TIME...: Cross-posted, cross-dressed, and cross, cross, cross. It's what the pop papers say:
This week, the New Statesman has considered Slipknot. Careful to avoid a right wing style kneejerk "bad", instead they approach the band from a different angle - why do the kids like this? Unfortunately, the staggers decides that their success is because teenagers feel disaffected and like society has nothing to offer them, which is plain wrong. Firstly, you can't make a blanket statement like that without balancing the rise of the godbotherers like Creed and POD; secondly, because teens will go and watch men make themselves sick by licking dead crows doesn't mean they feel alienated from normal society - how many punks who screamed "No future" in 1977 now work for pension providers? - merely that Slipknot are providing a gross-out freakshow to fill the time before growing up. Sure, a few people run away to join the circus, but most return to everyday life when the big top leaves town...

A letter in Q condemns Tim Burgess for suggesting he had not much of a future when, actually, he was working in the post room at the chemical works which was the only employer in the area. Yeah, Tim - a crappy, poorly paid job in one of the most dangerous factories in the country, forever. You'd never had it so good...

system of a down are on the cover of nme. beard. fuck off...

news has the story that the new oasis album is going to be called Heathen Chemistry. There's a sample of just how acute Noel Gallagher's lyrics are, too: "I'm smoking all my stash/ burning all my cash." Cunt, cunt, cunt...

badly drawn boy has lost the hat because it made him a target of violence - see, sometimes, the threat of violence does work; Gareth Gates has hit back at Marilyn Mans... oh, I really can't be arsed; it's like a war between Portugal and Albania; James Dean Bradfield likes the Vines, and will let us know who else he likes as soon as his PA has told him; Ant & Dec want to record the England 2002 single - perhaps an updated version of something from their back catalogue: Our Defence Sucks, maybe?; Fear Factory have split up - no, seriously, in the last week...

gossip with no name: girl singer cheating on boyfriend, while she's successful again and he... does anyone really need this much kylie detail? ok; rock singer uncertain of band comeback, now going to make porn instead; group's management hiring counsellors to help them now they're being dropped...

"NME asks: Are so solid crew being victimised?" Yes, dammit, bands should be free to smash girl's jaws in, wave guns at traffic wardens, hold shows which become lightning rods for violence and murder without being interfered with. Stop the liberal white hand wringing, nme, and face it - so solid have talked up - and walked - the bad boy thugs with guns image, and now, as they've sew-solid, they're reaping. The nme suggests that because they're multi-racial and entrepreneurial they're great role models (yeah, because you want your bands to be Lord Hanson in khaki pants, don't you?).
Some of their defenders still try to talk of the so-solids being "unlucky" - presumably, as in "Whoops, we've shouted our mouths off about being Gangstas, made videos glorying in violence and waved guns at traffic wardens. Again."...

on bands: down - five beards; ,stereo total - long-upped french/german duo (with a lady woman, and everything) and heron - some sort of singing milkman...

america lets starsailor in; they get mistaken for models, and americans apparently take them far more seriously than british fans...

larry from hundred reasons chooses ten tracks for a cd, includes 'rock with you' by Michael Jackson...

I normally would never advise anyone to bother buying the nme, especially to see a picture of Fran Healy, but the image which accompanies the Travis interview, but Healy is wearing fucking dungarees. He looks like a man who's had a disappointment at a Play School audition. Jesus. Then he says: "Regardless of whether you like us or not, at the moment, we're defining you..." You think, Fran? You think the gnats make the nation; the glint of the sun off a mailbox is the crux of Route 66; the slight scratch of the label as you pull them on is the essence of the pair of jeans? You're an irritant, but you don't define us - we don't need to hate you, you're not worth it. The screaming of a million tormented souls keeps us awake at night, 'Why does it always rain on me' merely makes us turn to another radio station. Don't flatter yourself...

What is system of a down's mission? NME thinks its all confused, and fucked up, and mysterious. BSN thinks its: identify gullible kids. take their money. shave. get slots presenting on NPR...

albums: thirty odd foot of grunts - clarity ("el vez forming Del Amitri", 2); desparecidos - read music/speak english ("cooler than the alaskan vines". 7); gomez - in our gun ("agreeable; difficult to love", 7); richard hell - time ("misfiring talent shines brightly", 6)...

sotw: the mars volta - tremulant ("huge and swirling"); wsotw: chineseburn - shhh dont tell a soul ("makes the only fools and horses theme sound sexy")...

live - peaches in london ("fashion may be fickle, but its got nothing on this lady"); QOTSA in LA ("this band *are* rock'n'roll") and shack ("beautifully shambolic") and the coral ("scooby doo meets 'crazy horses') in Liverpool...

fuck me, as if Virgin's V events weren't bad enough, Virgin Trains are putting on a mini-festival - insert your own "we apologise for the cancellation of Paul Weller's credibility" type joke here...

anyway, that's the nme. wooo.
nme reviews in full on their site, of course

AND IN TRAD BLOGGER REVERSE ORDER: Becky at ATP, part 2:
so sunday was only one set of bands in the ballroom. no chairs. at least this time I'd had more sleep...

we got there later this time. we missed black dice, but heard saccharine trust while we were getting food. from what I heard I was glad we hadn't made the effort to get there any earlier.

so we went in towards the beginning of the dead c's set. not bad.. until the singer opened his mouth. before he did they were like a more coherent version of the jackie o. motherfuckers (guitars, feedback, noise stuff) but the singer sounded like he was torturing cats in front of the mic. luckily he didn't "sing" very much.

we grabbed a space against the wall and settled in. next up was peaches. holy fuck. she was so fucking cool. she had, like, a giant overhead projector set up and she had brought an artist to draw stuff that appeared on the blank screen behind her while she was singing. it was totally cool. the artist had also brought transparencies already drawn. at one point peaches was standing up on a platform at the back of the stage and the artist put up a drawing of a boxing ring around her. and then put boxing gloves on her hands. during another song she drew a las vegas showgirl style headress on her. she would draw pictures of women with fangs, women aging.. all sorts of stuff. she also brought black cutouts of people having sex in all sorts of combinations to put up during another song. she said this was only the second time they'd performed like that, but I think they should do it every time. I'm totally buying her cd.

next was mike watt's secondmen. they were awesome when mike watt was singing. when the guitarist was.. not so awesome.

everybody pushed forward for stereolab, so we couldn't see anything and stayed sitting on the floor. they sounded cool, though. and played my favorite song of theirs.

and finally, sonic youth. at this point helena and I (nayla stayed home to work on a paper) were so tired from everything that we only stayed for about a half hour. but it was cool. I hope I can see them again when I can be more enthusiastic. I did like what I heard and I'm planning on getting some of their stuff.

AT LAST, IT'S ALL TOMORROWS PARTIES USA: I've been threatening to bring Becky Bamboo's reviews to the BSN site forever, and been thinking in terms of giving her a page. But instead, I've got loads of them sitting on the scrapbook. So, in order to keep up-to-date, I'm using XRRF to bring you: Becky at ATP:
I wanted a good seat for big star and wilco, so we
went to UCLA right at 4 when the first bands went on. luckily they were both playing in the royce theater which has seats. nice padded seats. we settled in 7th row center and began our long vigil.

first guy up was chris lee. nice. fairly forgettable.

then.. deerhoof. lord. the guitarist played about as well as I do (i.e. not at all), the drummer looked like he was having a seizure (at one point he was actually kicking the bass drum), the little keyboard thingie was fine, but the singer couldn't stay in tune. at all. what was merely embarrassingly painful then became hilarious when all of a sudden the singer began screaming like some cut-rate yoko ono. she kept trying to pace the front of the stage but her mic cord was getting caught on the monitors. I was laughing so hard I had to slide down in my seat so everyone wouldn't see me.

next up was destroy all monsters. they started setting up all these bizarre instruments. they had a mannequin torso with a guitar neck coming out of the chest, a set of legs with a saxophone mouthpiece coming out of one foot and a trumpet mouthpiece out of the other, a head and torso with a pipe coming out of the top of the head, and what looked like a giant plastic squeezable bok choy. no, I'm not making this up. the drum set looked like the guy from rush's and then they brought out a scooby doo blanket and set out a bunch of rubber duckies and other sqeeze toys. and what looked like 4 junior high science teachers were hooking up what a telephone switchboard thingie. needless to say we were *very* expectant. I theorized that after the buildup with all the instruments anything other than a set of abba covers was bound to be a disappointment. and indeed, the first song was. so much so that after about a minute or two I fell asleep (in my defense I had gotten up at 5:30 that morning after 3 hours sleep to drive 400 miles to see this shit). the first song went on for about 20 minutes. they'd used up all their time setting up so their next song was their last. it consisted of 3 minutes of the drummer beating a bass drum and yellin about the bruins getting their asses kicked. it featured the immortal phrase "ass-crackin'", which is now my new favorite. do I need to mention that once again (after I woke up) I was laughing hysterically? no? okay. they didn't even get a chance to play any of the funky instruments. some different science teacher came out and played the rubber duckies as they were packing everything up, though. so we did get that.

then califone. I can't decide if I really, really liked them or if I was just so relieved to have actual, decent music up there. I stayed awake during their set, so that's something.

then came some slideshow/guitar feedback/voice sampling thing that would've been much more appropriate as an installation in a museum of modern art. I managed a good 20 minute nap.

next up were the jackie o. motherfuckers. we had high hopes for this band, figuring it was a kickass name, so they were probably awesome. er, wrong yet again. tuneless mumbo-jumbo. after 2 minutes I fell asleep. have I mentioned how happy I was we had comfy seats?

then came papa m who I kept comparing to m ward. and since I absolutely love m ward, papa m didn't impress me all that much. I did enjoy his set, though, and managed to stay awake.

FINALLY. big star. mmm... I got chills. no, really. they just kicked so much ass. as soon as the lights went down the audience was on their feet. everyone was really into it. they played mostly stuff from the first 2 albums. but they did 'I am the cosmos' so I was happy.

at this point helena and nayla took off for the other venue to see aphex twin. as they left the guy next to me said there was a huge line and they probably wouldn't get in. so I wasn't surprised when they came back 10 minutes later. I felt so bad cos aphex twin was basically the whole reason why they came.

wilco came out and started with a new song. there was another new one and 2 from summerteeth, but the rest were from YHF. they only got to play for about anhour. I was a little disappointed, but nayla and helena loved them. so that was good.

THIRTY MINUTE PARTY PEOPLE: Moderately amusing guardian piece today, ringing round to find out how much it would cost for various stars to do a birthday party show. Best bit is either that Dannii Minogue comes in at three Bucks Fizzes (which is only one more than there actually is), or that her agent is so desperate for bookings, he calls Dannii direct. Oh, and that he can't recall any of his own talent's songs.
How much for Kylie? - Don't bother with the Rolling Stones. They don't do corporates. Apart from themselves, of course.

SO LONG, THEN...: Saturday's business pages of the Guardian were reporting that a whole slew of second-string acts on EMI labels will be among the 1,000 lay-offs announced this week. Anyone's guess who can go - if Carey gets shipped off, it's clear the axe could swing wholesale. But I'd imagine Williams and Minogue will sleep soundly. Lousie, perhaps (though she's been in abeyance for ages, hasn't she?). Rico, Spiller, Ed Harcourt, MoSoildGold and Relish are probably starting to circle adverts in the Guardian from the Chrysalis line-up. Over at Food, Matthew Jay and Idlewild should both be safe, if Food itself can remain in the new, tightened belt world of EMI. Over at Virgin, you've got to fancy Blue for being sent back to work McDonalds. Apparently, they're webcasting a statement (EMI, Blue) at their website this week. Roll up and place your bets now...
EMI group - bye bye bands...

MOVES TO OUTLAW COPY PROTECTION: You do wonder if sometimes record industry execs, washing the spunk dribble from their thighs as the too-young girls teeter drunkenly on their heels round the Cannes hotel bedroom, ever rue the day they decided fuck with the status quo of home copying. Prior to the Metallica whinge, everything had settled into a spot of blind-eye turning that worked in everyone's favour. Yes, copies were made, but it was clear that it was just another way of tunes getting known - it worked in everyone's favour. It was the street-team concept, but without the sickening smell of bomber jacket and cokedust that the officially endorsed enthusiasm squads give off. Since the start of the industry taking on the kids over Napster, however, more and more light has been shone on practices the industry take for granted that may not actually be entirely fair. We've already seen how one part of the fallout has been a question mark being thrown over the legality of record companies taking artists' copyright; now there's an attempt being made to rule any form of copy protection unconstitutional. And they still haven't stopped people who want to swapping MP3 files. But at least you closed Napster, didn't you? Well done...
MSN reports - "... actually, now we come to think of it, home taping didn't actually kill music either, did it?"

QUESTION FOUND IN REFERRING SEARCH TERMS: Why did rock and roll ended?

THE WEAKEST LINK: How come Craig Charles show is being trailed with snippets of a programme that hasn't been broadcast yet? Which implies this is just bits made up for the trail, in which case why on earth didn't he try that "funkiest biscuits baked in the Peak Freans factory" ablib again, because it makes no sense, does it? There is a Peak Freans music link, of course, because there's a line in a Siddeleys song about how "the Peak Freans factory pumping smoke reminds me of the past/ of waking up quite terrified, of always coming last." But somehow I doubt if Craig Charles is going to be playing them...

RE-ARMED: Good to see that Mudhoney are back in action again - I'd assumed they'd been lost in the wave that Nirvana threw up behind themselves as grunge spalttered all over the wall of Kurt's garage, but the older band are still there, just about to release a new album, and - apparently - as vibrant as ever. And not just re-hashing Touch me I'm sick either. Which is screamingly nice.
Mark Arm talks to Rolling Stone

...OR ARE YOU JUST PLEASED TO SEE ME?: Possibly the genuinely most erotic or something band on the planet, erstwhile bsn-person Carmen and her band of rock bears, the Pocket Rockets have got a whole page of their stuff up on the Washington Post. Go download. Then send muffin baskets of thanks.
Washington Post rocks - because you can never have too many Bella Lugosis...
And they're on Teenbeat now, too...

THE MOST EROTIC BAND IN THE WORLD: That's what Akash claims to be, anyway. So we went to their website and MP3.com files to check. They're not, of course - having some tits on your homepage doesn't make you erotic, and the music didn't put me in the mood, but some of the tracks are quite nice in an ambient sort of way. If you're looking to a-woo, you may want to carry on searching, but if you want a bit of goth-cum-indutriallite to fill your office with, they might be worth checking out.

OKAY. FOR ONE WEEK ONLY. AGAIN. WHAT THE POP PAPERS SAY: Because it'll save me having to repeat myself here, lots.
sometimes, choices are hard. Sometimes, not so. GQ has a double cover option this month, but it's a choice between Kirsten Dunst and Jamiroquai. With the possible exception of Denise Van Outen, there's not a person alive who would chose the twat in a hat over the queen of the screen…

Glamour manages to give away a CD that's probably worth about double the cover price alone - Kylie, Dido, that sort of thing. Handy if your sister is having a party. And she reads New Woman…

Britney "wants a pretty wedding" she tells Elle magazine - whereas, of course, Nerve - currently only living online - says she wants to come clean about the state of her hymen. Whatever you feel about Brit, and the to-ing and fro-ing of her love life with the gormless Justin Timberlake (name like a shoe; intellect like a sandal), at least you can accept that she is a proper Pop Idol. She has it. Last week's Guardian Review took the occasion of the release of Shakira's first album in the UK to point out that "it" is precisely what the quartet of Pop Idols lacked - that Will, Darius, Rick and Gareth had none of the swagger, the spin, the glitter, the "look at me" quality that makes Madonna, Britney, Bowie, Jagger more than just people who sing songs. Not that it'll stop the idiots worshipping false idols, but you would have hoped that by now some sort of burning bush would have been sent as a warning. Instead, the column inches on the most unremarkable of singers still roll on; this week, Will outed himself to the News of the World; Gareth said he was brave in the Mirror; and so it goes on. Unedifying. It's probably not surprising that Burchill came out in favour in the Weekend Guardian…

No wonder Justine wanted out. In a wide-ranging interview with the Observer colour supplement, the most respectable of the Britpop generation gave out on why she's given up, frankly and open - except for the bits she didn't want her Observer reading mum and dad to know about…

HMV has started to stock Careless Talk Costs Lives, the Everett True attempt to do for left-field music writing what Mojo has done for rock. And rather fine it is, too - the fact that discovering a six page interview conducted by the former Legend! and the widow of John Lennon gives you a warm, happy glow probably demonstrates what a poor state the newsagent rock press is in. True manages to spend a large portion of his time with Ono musing on how great he is - surely no other journalist in the world would have managed to mention "The shop assistants wrote a song about me" in a piece about Yoko. "I see Everett is back to his old tricks" says the owner of the fanzine archive in another piece (this man has thirteen years of unread zines piled up in his offices, making it not unlike my bedroom), but it would be unfair to describe CTCL as a fanzine - it's got its faults (ET writes too much) but it's still fine, a place where there's space to ponder why Riot Grrl failed ("Some girls just discovered another cute way to dress hot - If it's just about clothes, we've got back to square one") is to be welcomed…

Mind you, the way the Wire has transformed itself from the sort of well-meaning magazine that wishes it didn't just go to WOMAD for the felafel and Peter Gabriel's sets into the house journal of All Tomorrow's Parties suggests there may actually be a whole sector developing here. Two decades in, The Wire has finally dematured. The current issue boasts a fine Sonic Youth blaggers guide, and Steinski doing the listening to records and commenting pieces…

It's perhaps ironic that in the course of this, he talks about the time 'The Motorcade Sped On' was released in the UK - it was an NME covermount, an ep with Sonic Youth and Sly and Robbie. This week's NME comes with an MTV-funded free video, featuring Starsailor and The Hives. Good, but hardly as jaw-droppingly exciting as what we were used to. In addition, both CTCL and Wire draw heavily on old NME and MM staffers - even Savage Pencil is still there, scribbling away. And as you look around you, from Steven Appleby in The Times on Saturday, to Danny Baker on Five Live, Andrew Collins on Six, Stuart Maconie every fucking where, even the odious Burchill - the whole of British Pop Culture has benefitted from the nme's influence. But it's hard to imagine any of the current crop of writers having much to offer in 2022…

One other off-road recommendation - The Circuit has started charging for its magazine, but the admirable former handbook for the New Acoustic Movement has beefed up its content to make good the deal. The current issue - confusingly called Devil's Music on the front page - even comes with a nifty free CD, complete with Giant Sand and The Handsome Family…

Anyway, what has the World's Second Biggest Selling Rock Weekly got for us? A nice piece of bet-hedging, actually, putting the Streets on the cover (so, if they are massive, the paper can claim "we had them on the cover back when they were nothing"), but sealed inside the giveaway bag so that the incredibly ugly bloke won't put anyone off. Is this the first front cover that nobody has ever seen?…

News goes exclusively behind the scenes at the Oasis video shoot - like we can't imagine what that's going to be lie; System of a Down observe "people don't just hijack planes and commit hari-kari without a reason", believe this to be a subversive thought; Michael Stipe is going to do some vocals for Faultline; Marilyn Manson really has blown it, by bothering to do interviews about how his pisspoor version of Tainted Love is coming out on the same day as Gareth Gates' debut single - Marilyn, a real god of headfuck doesn't spend time fretting about the runner-up on a talent show, honey; the NME wants us to spare a thought for poor Asher D because he's in feltham - ah, suddenly conditions in British prisons are meant to bother us because some stage school dipshit is charged in a connection with an incident where its alleged a gun was used to threaten a traffic warden?…

Gossip without balls: NME sells pill to grizzled party person; Svengali sacks starlet for shag shenanigans; pop star's daughter already havinh facials at five…

At last, the nme have number crunched the poll questions, to discover Inspector Frost fans prefer Moulin Rouge; Muse fans started drinking before they were 14 and radiohead fans are the most likely to own a cat…

new band hell: the mars volta - at the drive-in second wave; desaparecidos - destined to be the most miss-spelled Bright eyes side project; span - another nordic rock band…

How much longer did that "how you will you die" poll say you have left to live? Whatever, not long enough for Sum 41 talking about being totally into S&M bars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Jamie Theakston only popped in to use the phone, you wankers…

What do you know about cocaine? asks the government in a two page spread - incredibly pretty people have things to say, almost certainly written for them by a London advertising executive between lines - "My mate hasn't had any for ages and still gets paranoid" says one - she should, because WE KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES. Apparently a Dave Rowntree lookealike doesn't care as long as he's alright for Monday. You look like Dave Rowntree, son, it doesn't matter anyway. The strap line is "If you're wondering how cocaine causes anxiety or paranoia, call us." Paranoid about illegal drug use? Call the government. Yeah, can't see any problem with that…

Michael Douglas either was interested or fake interested in his band, and he gets excited. He's "never felt scared of fame or beauty." For some things, there is money. For everything else, there is Tim Burgess. He is our pop star…

Northern Uproar's Mike Skinner apparently starts all his anecdotes with "The other night I was really fucked…" but the new album isn't about drugs at all. It's about… um, people taking drugs. Did I say Northern Uproar? Sorry, I meant The Streets. Easy slip to make. If anyone calls them The Garage Northside, he'll pull a blade…

Walter from rival schools does the top ten thingy Pink Floyd, The Smiths, The Byrds. Oh, and Langley Schools Music Project, which is - of course - the current *essential* name to drop, don't you know?…

All new, all dumb reviews section: Albums - The Streets - Original Pirate Material ("ordinary life in he midlands", 9); Ian Dury - ten more turnips… ("what Robbie Williams could achieve if his songwriters had musical blood", 7); Giant Sand - Cover Magazine ("… should frighten off any atray Ryan Adams fans", 6); Ali G - 0ST ("multi-layered", 7)

SOTW is Marilyn manson's Tainted Love. Yes, yes, I've checked twice. It is. Steven Wells fault. Several layers down, Satellite's Lighten up the load is WSOTW. In between: Travis. Apparently Flowers in the window was thought - at first - too soppy to be on the album. Hmmm…

live: Doves in Brighton ( "If Fran Healy isn't worried, he should be"); Tommy & the Chauffeur in Blackwood ("quotes Bill Hicks and still sounds uncontrived"); The Vines at the Freebutt in Brighton ("this year's Strokes"); Foo Fighters in Salt Lake ("snatch the gold in crowd-pleasing")

And, finally, from Angst: "Mike Skinner = John Cooper Clarke." Aaaah. Now we see.
...pop papers... is live, weekly as part of the bothsidesnow list
Careless Talk Costs Lives site
Full versions of nme reviews and articles at NME.com
Glamour have a website, too
The Wire issue listings
Justine Frischmann Observer interview
Nerve on Britney's Hymen

BRIT STRIPPED:Possibly the best thing you'll read about Ms Spears' virginity has turned up in the ever-reliable Nerve magazine, picking up nicely how Brit's decision to try and keep the same demographic (instead of growing old with the audience, a la Madonna) has made her a prisoner a hymen nobody can any longer believe in:
"I remember hearing my seven-year old niece absently singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time" from the backseat of the car. She had no idea what the song meant. The charm of that video was that neither did Britney. The setup was soft-core porn, and it was utterly riveting, because it married a blank, baby face with a bursting woman's body. The mind seemed not to know what the body was doing to its audience (that's the essence of kiddie porn: "I'm being turned on by this underage girl, but it's okay because, look at her, she has no idea") which is why it made parents so uncomfortable, until it was widely reported that Britney was a virgin, a Christian, and a good girl. Don't worry, parents, if your girls love this music, dress like her, want to sing and dance like her, they're in safe hands. Britney's not a perv. She has no sexual longings of her own, and if you think filthy things about her, then you're the one with the problem."
full article in Nerve - Boy, if they had brought soliciting charges against that bloke who offered her cash...

RAPE ME: If you've been as confused as I have by all the various to-ing and fro-ing in the Nirvana court battles, there's a pretty good Chicago Sun-Times piece that updates and sketches out the whole struggle to date. It includes the time that - apparently not at Courtney's insistence - Kurt forced the other two to retrospectively change writing royalties from an even split to 75% for him, 12.5% each for them amongst other things, but also raises the more philosophical question: what IS a band? Should the Kurt musical doodles be released under his name, or the Nirvana banner? While the speculation makes you somewhat queasy - Grunge act turning to International Brand in your mouth - it's still fascinating. Plus, Courtney has got email from Christina Aguilera:
""I got an e-mail from Christina Aguilera. Know what she wrote? 'Na na, wass up?' You know what I wrote back? 'I'm in bed watching an Eleanor of Aquitaine documentary. [Imitates a school teacher:] Do you know who Eleanor of Aquitaine was?' I am not gonna sit there and go, 'Wass up?' That [freaking] Disney tutor should be shot! And Christina doesn't understand why I don't want to sing back-up on her record!"
The piece in full - Frances Bean won't be spoiled, she'll have to work a full *three* months a year. But what will Dunkin Donuts do the other nine?
NP on Six: Lloyd Cole live

SIX UPDATE: We've also learned today that Marilyn Manson played his first gig in an English theme pub in Florida.
One of the nice touches is they do Music News in the way Five Live do sports news - they're leading today on Fatboy Slim being moaned at for saying "E isn't that bad, really"
NP: Pulp - Babies. A rare '92 session version. Woo!

SIX STARTS: Anyone else listening to six music? I dunno if it's perhaps a sad reflection on the state of radio in the UK that a breakfast show which plays Ben Folds Five and Elvis Costello sounds so radical, but it's a start...
Not too sure about Jupitus yet - I think he might thrive a bit more when the listeners turn up and he's got stuff to bounce off. And, of course, it's still the first show, so anything could happen.
NP: What do i get - the buzzcocks (specially recorded version)
The first track was Ash, who won that poll. Jupitus suggested that Ash fans might be better placed to rig a computer based poll. Hmmm. He then played Sex and drugs and rock and roll anyway...
It's mainly online - and 911 on Sky Digital
NP: Offshore Banking Business...

ANOTHER CLOSURE: Shame to hear that Liverpool's second-greatest clubnight, Voodoo (and I mean second to Liquidation, not The Big Supermarket That Is Cream) is going to close in a few weeks, not quite making a decade of cutting edge dance. Doubtless to be the subject of Janice Long fronted documentaries in years to come...
voodoo website - domain name shortly coming free...
Ink magazine reports on the 8th birthday - it all seemed so full of hope back then...

OF COURSE one of the most worrying things about the US imposing tariffs on steel imports is what this means for the Bruce Springstein. "He used to work the steel mills/ but the steel mills almost closed/ though US protectionism and a spot of restructuring guaranteed his job for the mid term" doesn't have the same ring, somehow.

NOT THAT: John Robb, and also not that Gomez, either...

DOTMUSIC SOLD: Dotmusic, which used to be the old Music Week website before the great web boom led Lord Hollick to sniff money and made it all consumer-focused, has been flogged to BT. They apparently want to build on the video and audio parts of the site to encourage people to take up broadband. Hmmm, it might work - BT at least has experience of running that service where you could ring up and listen to a top 30 track down your phone (advertised by a Punk Busby, of course...)

IMUSES BACK FROM LIMBO: Yay... good news... Throwing Muses have reformed. Like, the proper, full, band. Tanya and Kristen. Nothing before 2003, but there are twelve songs in the can already. Aaaaah.
NME reports - mixing already...

SORRY to hear that Tommy Boy have closed. Never really my first choice as a label, but even so...

PHEW: Of course, when bands release new stuff you wait with baited breath - if its an excellent band, you worry that they may have lost it. If it's Oasis, you worry that maybe - just maybe - they've found the spark that made them look as if they could be the band they clearly still think that they are.
Having heard The Hindu Times on Mark & Lard just now, I can breath again. The biggest laughing dog in all of rock still blusters and blows. Imagine George Harrison playing 'Does Your Mother Know?' by Abba on a sitar. Possibly in his death throes. It's now clear why this single took so long to get released - it's so half baked and lightweight, it would have needed jets scrambled to get it down out the sky...

NO SURPRISES: If I thought the Brits were too moribund to even bother mentioning, then I spose I should feel lucky that I'm not Irish. Their music awards yesterday saw everything bar newcomer and female going to either U2 or Westlife. Perhaps the saddest, most shameful prize was that the best Irish pop single of 2001 was, apparently, that cover of Uptown Girl Westlife knocked out for charidee. I'm sorry, but had I been totalling up the votes, and found that on the top, that people had decided the country had produced nothing finer than a one-shot take-off of a Billy Joel song that was irritating when it was first written, I'd have paid off the caterers, written off the deposit on the hall, and cancelled the event.
U2? Again? [BBC] - curse you, Mumba, you have foiled our duopoly...

STILL, MAKES A CHANGE FROM SMASHING GIRL'S FACES IN: Compare and contrast November 6th, 2001
Exclusive: So Solid Harvey speaks out against violence
Harvey from the So Solid Crew has spoken to Radio One for the first timesince the shootings at the London Astoria nightclub. The whole crew were at the venue celebrating Romeo’s 21st birthday last week when it happened - two men are still recovering from their injuries. Harvey told us he is sick of their image attracting unwanted attention and that trouble seems to follow them around. He says none of So Solid are in the business for that reason: “I don’t know what’s wrong with people to be quite honest, I don’t know how you can leave your house with that mentality that I’m going to start trouble or I’m going to shoot someone. It’s quite scary to think, you know what I mean? People are spoiling what is good, we’ve turned a new sound into something big and people want to spoil it.”
versus
Today
Ashley Walters, a member of garage act So Solid Crew has pleaded guilty to a
firearms charge in a London court.
Judge Geoffrey Rivlin QC said the offence was so serious that a substantial custodial sentence was inevitable.
Walters, 29, from Peckham, south London, pleaded guilty to possessing a prohibited Brocock revolver at Southwark Crown Court.
A further charge of possessing the gun with intent to cause fear of violence was ordered to lie on file.
The allegation relates to an incident with a traffic warden in July last year at Canary Wharf, east London.
Prosecution counsel Stephen Holt said that Walters was in his car with his girlfriend, parked next to a meter which had expired.
He said that when Walters was approached by traffic warden Olufemi Onafeko, who asked him to either put money in the meter or drive off, an argument broke out between the two men.
The gun was never shown, but Mr Holt said the traffic warden was so concerned about the defendant's behaviour that he called police.
When an armed response vehicle stopped the car the weapon was found wrapped in a sock in Walters girlfriend's handbag.
Defence counsel Simon Pentol said his client was of previous good character.
The case was adjourned to 25 March, to allow pre-sentence reports to beprepared.
Walters's friends and family broke down in tears when they heared bail had been refused.
Previous to joining So Solid Crew, Walters had acting roles in TV dramas Grange Hill and The Bill.
So Solid Crew went to number one in the singles charts with 21 Seconds last August and they won a Brit award last month.
Still, at least we now know why so many SSC audience members turn up with guns... it's probably because they're scared they'll be shot at from the stage...

HEY! IS THAT WHERE THEY RIPPED THEIR STYLE FROM?: Yes, and now we're pinching text direct from www.ntk.net:
Forget Bob Dylan, Tony Bennett, Billy Joel - the most moving performance at this week's GRAMMY AWARDS came from old-time crooner Michael Greene, President of the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, who waxed lyrical on the subject of the "comfort, solace and sweet celebration" that "the power of music" brings to the world. But then the lighting changed, the backing switched to monks chanting over a gothic trip-hop beat and, striding through the dry ice swirling across the stage, Greene went on to rap about how he'd personally witnessed the hood's darker side, where MP3 fans stole bands' livelihoods "one digital file at a time" - it's "out of control and oh so criminal", he wailed. The number ended with a cautionary tale of three kids he knew who fell in with a bad crowd, downloaded thousands of songs in a Morpheus binge, and are now presumably in the custody of the relevant authorities. Tragically, we don't have an audio recording of this potential floor-filler, but if anyone out there does, wouldn't it make a great remix anthem for our "World Wide Web/ of theft and indifference"? Also, from the way things are going, it sounds like he might just appreciate the royalties.
http://grammy.aol.com/features/speech.html
- been spending most my life/ livin' in a Napster's paradise
- the best bit about the speech is this bit:
Please say hello to Numair, Stephanie and Ed. In just a couple of days they have downloaded nearly 6,000 songs. That's three kids, folks. Now multiply that by millions of students and other computer users and the problem comes into sharp focus. Songwriters, singers, musicians, labels, publishers - the entire music food chain is at serious risk. The RIAA estimates that - now listen to this - an astounding 3.6 billion songs are illegally downloaded every month.
Yeah, but I do believe that some students actually spend some of their time working, rather than just desperately trying to download every song they can find. And one or two users in the UK waiting for Broadband to reach their area and their budget may be gagging at the thought of trying to download a song every minute and a half (which is what three users accessing 6,000 tracks in two days means, of course. And 3.6 billion songs a month? Isn't that everybody in the world downloading six songs a year? Isn't that hugely unlikely?

INTEREST PEAKS: XRRF has had its most popular twenty-four hours - not because of our overview of the Grammys or the Brat awards, but because people are looking for any information on the R Kelly shagging video. Obviously a large number of people are keen to "prove it's not him".

IF IT GETS US ON JUST ONE CHAT SHOW, IT'LL BE WORTH IT:Curious that couple emerge with pictures of their dead, drug raddled daughter the day after Leah Bett's parents suddenly made a random attack on Travis - surely la famille Bett couldn't have been trying to keep their position as the nation's number one drug tragedy family, could they?
Anyway, here we go again: Bright, happy smart girl, "if it could happen to her it could happen to anyone" - really? is that a fact? To *anyone*?, "challenging stereotypes of drug users" - hidden message being "Dammit, this is serious - Middle class children are dying"
Oh, and there's this:
Mr Holcroft said: "There'll be a point in a child's life when someone says 'try that'. They'll be put into a circle where they are encouraged to try things and experiment."
Drug offers being as common as Richard Scarry books, of course.
What's happening here, and with the Betts, of course, is an interesting reaction to grief. The parents try to keep their kids alive by starting a crusade in their name, while simultaneously trying to offload their guilt - it can't have been anything *we* did, it must be something that could have happened to anyone; there must have been a point at which Our Daughter was signed up to become Drug addict.
It's very sad, of course. And as a warning to future drug users, it's pointless. No heroin user is ever going to end up dead with a needle in their arm. Sure, it happens. But it happens to other people.
BBC reports - Don't take drugs, kids - your parents will make a public show of your corpse if you do...

DO YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE GRAMMYS?: Well, for a start I do wonder why the plural isn't Grammies. And why are they 'Grammys" at all? Why not the Grams? Anyway, let's look at what won:
Record Of The Year: Walk On - U2
Hmmm. Well, I'm sure my opinion on Bono doesn't need to be repeated here. Oh, fuck it, I can't help myself - he's a twat, and this is an obvious mistake. As in, it's a mistake to laud U2, but the reasons for doing so are obvious - it allows the US industry to pretend that they're still a radical bunch of outsiders, even although they've gone for the equivalent of an Independent leader column.
Album Of The Year: O Brother, Where Art Thou? - Soundtrack
Curious choice, and suggests something of a cultural-field cringe. Let's take soundtracks seriously - we might make some money from them. Crossover potential. Bridget Jones Diary 2 has to be a favourite for next year.
Song Of The Year: Fallin' - Alicia Keys, songwriter (Alicia Keys)
What can you say? It's a nice enough song, although if this was the best song written in 2001, it suggests that Anita Baker was the emperor queen of the twentieth century...
Best New Artist - Alicia Keys
She writes all her own songs, too. At least you can see what the Grammys are getting at here - unless she overpacks her plane or suddenly starts to smash up her house, it's like Ms Keys has a long career ahead of her. So, while there mayn't be much novelty about her, and she may be a "oh, yeah, her" type of act, she's got potential to still be around in 2022. Mind you, they probably though that about Mariah until she bought the first bikini top.
Pop
Best Female Pop Vocal Performance: I'm Like A Bird - Nelly Furtado
Smelly Fartdildo gets her first award. This is an interesting category - less about being able to sing, more given for showing off, and Nelly is an apt winner. Her "vocal performance" was the aural equivalent of Anya's floor-hogging grandstanding dancing in Once More With Feeling
Best Male Pop Vocal Performance : Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight - James Taylor
Haven't heard this, but I do feel like I have. There really are no mass-appeal solo male artists worth the oxygen, are there?
Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of - U2
A second trip to the rostrum for U2. Craftsmanship rewarded. All right with the world. Dull as a shit, but right with the world.
Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals: Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya & Pink
Do they always have this award, or has it been invented purely to give a prize to this bunch? If it has, good work the Grammy people. Other category titles you could have considered would have been "Idea that looks bad on paper makes ace monster prize" or "Award for persuading Christina to dress like the little whore she undoutably is"
Best Pop Instrumental Performance: Reptile - Eric Clapton
I have never heard this, but then I have only got an estimated forty more years on earth, and that's not enough time to waste on the pocket Enoch and his noodling. Hey - noodling. U2 noodle too, don't they? This must be what the Grammys are set up to award. Nelly Furtardo is a noodler - like Queen of the Singing Noodling, Whitney. It's starting to make sense.
Best Dance Recording: All For You - Janet Jackson
There have been, approximately, sixty five thousand dance tracks released in the last twelve months. This isn't the best of them. Its not even the best Janet Jackson release of the last twelve months. And you can't even swing your booty to it. Its not often I'm prepared to suggest that Fatboy Slim was robbed, but...
Best Pop Instrumental Album: No Substitutions – Live In Osaka - Larry Carlton & Steve Lukather
Eh?
Best Pop Vocal Album : Lovers Rock - Sade
"Sade's back"
"Quick, hide the smack..."
"No, she's clean. She's made a new record. She sounds exactly like she used to."
"Oh. Wasn't that meant to be incredible?"
"Yes. Blimey, she must still be the best pop vocalist around, then, mustn't she?"
Traditional Pop
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album: Songs I Heard - Harry Connick, Jr.
What is this category all about? Is it some sort of joke at Frank Sinatra's expense. Interestingly, Songs I heard echoes the title of Waste's album, Songs you've never heard. Maybe they should do some sort of swap-cover-tribute deal?
Rock
Best Female Rock Vocal Performance: Get Right With God - Lucinda Williams
Excellent. Someone we love wholeheartedly gets an award. Go, Lucinda.
Best Male Rock Vocal Performance: Dig In - Lenny Kravitz
Normal service resumed quickly. Lenny Kravitz is another one of those people, like Sade, who exist solely to win awards, don't you think? Have you ever met anyone who actually likes him? Thought not. If it wasn't for the secret ballot, he wouldn't exist. Imagine that world for a moment.
Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Elevation - U2
Is this the third award so far for a film tie-in? Look, maybe we could co-hire a hall with the Oscars next year, couldn't we...?
Best Hard Rock Performance: Crawling - Linkin Park
Actually, I must admit of all this sort of band, I have the least-hard spot for Linkin Park. Whereas Durst and the boys come across as chancers who are filling a gap in the market, at least the Park sound like they'd be doing this even if it wasn't for the naked fourteen year old sub-breasts they get to sign. This is probably why Crawling does sound like a hard rock performance, rather than an impression of a rock band. Plus, I like the idea of Durst sitting there going "It must be me... must be..."
Best Metal Performance: Schism - Tool
A strange sub-category that honours both Lucinda Williams and Tool, don't you think?
Best Rock Instrumental Performance: Dirty Mind - Jeff Beck
Blimey, are you still going?
Best Rock Song: Drops Of Jupiter
A song by Train, apparently. The band took their name in umbrage when the Bunnymen suggested there was nothing romantic left in America - apparently they thought the train was. Long, lumbering, stuck to a predetermined route, dirty but not in a good way? Strangely apt, isn't it?
Best Rock Album: All That You Can't Leave Behind - U2
No, no it wasn't. Did the form have "U2, or other on it?
Alternative Music
Best Alternative Music Album: Parachutes - Coldplay
Surely the Americans can see that there is nothing alternative about Coldplay? Except, perhaps, in the unlikely sense the award is given to "an acceptable alternative to Travis." I know a British victory should be something to make me smile, and that the fact that had it not been for an incredible amount of patience and rebuilding on the part of the team at Parr Street, the album would have been unlistenable, but for the only alternative prize to go to something so flat, so mainstream, so devoid of ambition or experimentation irks. It's like going to a zoo to see the dangerous cats, and being shown three tabbies climbing bookcases that haven't quite been fixed to the wall.
R&BBest Female R&B Vocal Performance: Fallin' - Alicia Keys
Still, I hope the musical purists have got over the re-assignment of the term "R&B" over the past few years...
Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: U Remind Me - Usher
Oh, Jesus. If I cast my mind back to when this was on the radio every bloody two minutes, I spose I could be honest and say it was well performed. Maybe "Biggest waste of a voice on a piece of paper-light nothingness" instead?
Best R&B Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: Survivor - Destiny's Child
Again, while its only right that the Child win some sort of award, its curious that this is the one that they've given Beyonce the bunce for. Maybe that Charlies Angels track fell outside the time frame in the US. Maybe the only other option would have been the Christmas album.
Best R&B Song: Fallin' - Alicia Keys, songwriter (Alicia Keys)
all her own songs, you know. Every one. Like Oleta Adams. Okay, bad example. Let's try Tracy Chapman... opps...
Best R&B Album: Songs In A Minor- Alicia Keys
Tanita Tickaram? I know, how about Sade?
Best Traditional R&B Vocal Album: At Last - Gladys Knight
Probably what Gladys said by the time they got to her award, too...
Rap
Best Rap Solo Performance: Get Ur Freak On- Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott
Quiet... shut your mouth... Okay, she's no Roxanne Shante, but she's still impressive as hell.
Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group: Ms. Jackson - Outkast
I'm not sure I'd have called this rap - wasn't most of it sung? Certainly the hook was. The rappy bit ("forever ever ever ever") was ill-conceived and lightweight. A good pop song, but giving it this award is like praising Mr Kipling for his presentation.
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Let Me Blow Ya Mind - Eve Featuring Gwen Stefani
Curoously, the Grammys panel seem to be on safer ground when they're awarding prizes in what they clearly think of as the 'black' music categories. Either that, or my tastes are as painfully white and co-optive as the awards teams...
Best Rap Album: Stankonia - Outkast
Probably just pipped pink to the post, don't you think?
Country
Best Female Country Vocal Performance: Shine - Dolly Parton
Best Male Country Vocal Performance: O Death - Ralph Stanley
Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal: The Lucky One - Alison Krauss + Union Station
Best Country Collaboration With Vocals: I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow- Dan Tyminski, Harley Allen & Pat Enright (The Soggy Bottom Boys)
Best Country Instrumental Performance:Foggy Mountain Breakdown - Earl Scruggs, Glen Duncan, Randy Scruggs, Steve Martin, Vince Gill, Marty Stuart, Gary Scruggs, Albert Lee, Paul Shaffer, Jerry Douglas & Leon Russell
Best Country Song: The Lucky One - Robert Lee Castleman, songwriter (Alison Krauss + Union Station)
Best Country Album: Timeless – Hank Williams Tribute
Best Bluegrass Album: New Favorite - Alison Krauss + Union Station
Hmmm... you wouldn't exactly know we were in the midst of the biggest country paradigm shift since New Country, would you? The sort of list of prize winners which wouldn't have looked out of place in 1973, on the whole...
New Age
Best New Age Album: A Day Without Rain - Enya
Much as I dislike Enya, I have to feel sorry for her being poked away in the New Age category - and also for all those Pan Pipe versions of Eminem tunes which would have been in with a shout here otherwise

Best Musical Album For Children :Elmo And The Orchestra - Sesame Street Characters) Ed Mitchell, producer
Apparently Big Bird has just recorded a cover version of I Still Havent Found What I'm Looking For. This is not a joke, either.
Best Spoken Word Album: Q: The Autobiography Of Quincy Jones (Quincy Jones)
Unlcear if this contains the story of him kicking the shit out of Michael Jackson to stop him going "wooo" during the recording of Billie Jean
mposer & lyricist (Original Broadway Cast With Nathan Lane & Matthew Broderick)
Best Compilation Soundtrack Album For A Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media : O Brother, Where Art Thou?- (Various Artists)
Probably a safe bet, as it had been peppering the other categories, and it was, of course, a fine OST. In fact, there have been so many delicious soundtracks recently, there should be a proper awards ceremony for movie music. There probably already is, but, you know, it should be on TV.
Best Score Soundtrack Album For A Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media : Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon- Tan Dun, composer
Joss, get OMWF out soon; if you can't crack the Emmys, there's always the Grammys...
Best Song Written For A Motion Picture, Television Or Other Visual Media :Boss Of Me (From Malcolm In The Middle)- John Flansburgh & John Linnell, songwriters (They Might Be Giants)
... and if this is the level they're expecting, you should waltz away with this category in 03, too...
Best Recording Package : Amnesiac (Special Limited Edition)- Stanley Donwood & Tchocky, art directors (Radiohead)
Wake up, England... the nice library book style box wins a prize. So, at the Brats, Radiohead get a video award, and at the Grammys, it's the CD box prize. Doesn't say much for the quality of the music that they win prizes for everything but...
Best Historical Album: Lady Day: The Complete Billie Holiday On Columbia 1933-1944
"historical" here is a euphemism for repackaging/re-releasing. You can't quibble with Billie Holiday getting a prize, of course, even if you dislike the euphemism...
Best Short Form Music Video : Weapon Of Choice - Fatboy Slim Featuring Bootsy Collins
Dancing Christopher Walken, of course. While it's a good video, it's a bit of a slight idea to award some sort of prize to, don't you think?
If you want to see the full list of winners, including the ones we couldn't hope to have commented on, check out the official site