Publicity whores publicise split

We hate to have to break it to you, but it's true. The mutually self-serving relationship between Rachel Hunter and Robbie Williams and The Sun and The Mirror has come to an end.

Rachel confirmed the split in this week's Hello: "It's true, we've broken up. We'll both remain firmly in the papers, but it became increasingly difficult to carry on the publicity when we hardly even met. Sometimes we'd be in different countries, which can make getting together for something as simple as a faked paparazzi shot almost impossible. In the end, we decided the best idea would be to move on to other stooge dates as we both needed different things: I needed to keep a profile despite not actually having any talent or anything to offer; Robbie is just looking for a moderately attractive woman he can hang about with to stop people whispering that he's clearly gay."