THE POOLS PANEL! UH! SAY SCORE DRAW

Apparently, the team who produce the Final Score sequence for Grandstand are big Fall fans, which explains why they've invited Mark E Smith to read the results on Saturday 17th November. However, they clearly aren't that big a fan of the Fall, otherwise... well, they'd have seen Mark live, or on Newsnight, or read one of his "I know you and Swells are giving it to each other-uh!" NME interviews, and might have decided it would be better to give him something with less potential to be thrown off course if he turned up, shall we say, pre-enjoyed.

My Grandmother, I'm told, used to weep with frustration during the period when Wilfred Pickles read the football results on Sports Report - "can't he just do the scores without all the messing about?", she'd cry, as her hopes of getting eight from eleven had to take second place to his bits of business. If she wasn't dead these last three decades, she'd be spinning in her grave waiting for Smith to work his way through to the "telephone claims required" finishing line.

music mark e smith the fall soccer football grandstand final score wilfred pickles