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ROBBIE WILLIAMS IS NOT GAY FOR AT LEAST TEN MINUTES ON THREE OCCASIONS
We would suggest if you're reading this while enjoying a sandwich - perhaps from a musical sandwich box - you might want to set it down for a moment or two, as a hitherto-unheard of "fashion stylist" called Noemi Baenninger claims that she's had sex with Robbie Williams and Robbie's publicity machine ("she") wants us to know all about:
"He was sitting half naked on the sofa wearing just a pair of blue-and-white striped pyjama bottoms.
"We spoke about God and the world and then Robbie suddenly kissed me and started to undress me. He pleasured me for 10 minutes, then we had sex for a second time under the shower."
Pleasured? Oh, yes, this is a Swiss woman who's been translated first into English, and then into tabloidese - she is even, of course, described as "a Swiss Miss" at one point.
The couple then moved to the king-size bedroom for a third romp.
Noemi told a Swiss newspaper: "We were so close. He smelled of nice soap. We both had an orgasm."
She added: "We were both tired and I wanted to sleep there with him but Robbie wanted me out."
We'd have been thinking she'd have been better off getting Robbie out, to be honest.
Noemi said: "Sex with Robbie was mediocre. His manhood is also only average."
We doubt if Williams will be too bothered by this review - after all, his albums are pretty mediocre, but he still gets number one singles.
1 comment:
Hang on, get your sums right. The 10 minutes was the first time. There was no mention of how long the other "romps" went on for. So it might be less than 30 minutes total, indeed it might be much less. But of course Robbie is not gay for 24/7 as has been legally demonstrated so there is really nothing to worry about.
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