Saturday, January 21, 2006

DON'T LET IT MAKE US LATE FOR THE OPERA INTERVAL

Perhaps the disappointing aspect of the tale told by Fabrizio Moretti of the time he shagged Drew Barrymore up the opera is the reason why he went off to do her in the toilets in the first place:

He's revealed that they had sex in the loos during a performance of the opera La Boheme.

"It was wicked boring so we decided to go to the bathroom, and we got caught," he said.

"If we'd gone to the men's room, people would've said, 'Good on you, man.' But we were in the ladies, and when we heard an old woman tinkle, we couldn't help but crack up. I guess she told the security guy - he was, like, 'Just go.'"


My god, what could be more crushing for Drew than discovering at the same time that her boyfriend is so dull he finds La Boheme "wicked boring"; that he's so ineloquent he can only find the phrase "wicked boring" to describe how wicked boring he found it; that his thought process runs "this opera is wicked boring, I might as well fuck Drew instead", in the same way that you might give a kid a colouring book to stop them getting fed up while you read the wine list in a restaurant; that rather than spend some cash and go somewhere nice he'll just drag her to the toilets - presumably, although the opera was wicked boring, he'd ordered and paid for a drink at the interval so he didn't want to actually leave; and then he goes and tells everybody that they had sex just inches from a pissing old lady.


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