NOSES AND EARS

Here's a quick quiz: what's the name of the famous woman who had sex with both Prince Charles and Dodi al Fayed?

No, no, not Diana: apparently the answer is Barbra Streisand. There's an "explosive" new book by some chap called Christopher Anderson which says so much:

The book quotes Burke’s Peerage managing director Harold Brooks-Baker who said: “The official explanation was that Prince Charles and Barbra Streisand had a private tea. Well, Charles has ‘had private tea’ with quite a long procession of women. He was besotted with Streisand.”

We shall be adopting "had a private tea" as a euphemism for "had a quick bunk-up" in our general conversation. Presumably Charles' long-term cuckolding of Mr. Parker-Bowles would be a private all-you-can-eat buffet with Camilia on this basis.

The book also quotes Diana’s former friend Lady Elsa Bowker who said: “Diana knew that Charles was infatuated with Miss Streisand. She would not have been surprised at an affair.”

We're a little crumpled on the timeline here - would this mean that Charles was being unfaithful to the woman he was being unfaithful to his wife with? And does a private tea constitute an affair? It's all very confusing.

Obviously, Charles is too busy making organic biscuits to confirm or deny the tattle, and Streisand?

The book also claims Streisand, now 63, had affairs with Hollywood stars Warren Beatty, Ryan O’Neal, Steve McQueen, Don Johnson and Jon Voight, plus Andre Agassi, Richard Gere, Omar Sharif and Liam Neeson.

... well, she's unlikely to remember.

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