Five one short of a full comeback

There's a sting in the tail of the Five reunion: only four of them are going to be doing it.

Apparently, Sean Conlon has a lucrative solo deal which means he won't be rejoining his band mates as they hope people remember them. We think that effectively means he can't persuade Mr. Grimsdale to give him the time off for the tour, and he's been warned that if he calls in sick, he can kiss goodbye to being given a go on the co-op bacon slicer ever again.

So, it's just going to be Abs, Cornelius Goosefat, Micko Micko and Tamperage, or whatever the other four of them were called. There's a source, a deepthroat if you will, who has the inside scoop on why they're reuniting:

“Ritchie, Abs, Scott and J have kept in touch since the band decided to call it a day in 2001.

“After watching Take That and East 17 being rejuvenated, they began to consider a comeback.

“A few of the lads were still in touch with record label contacts who said now was the right time to do it.

“A lot of work has gone on behind the scenes and they are ready for a fully fledged comeback.”

We wonder in what way watching the reunion of East 17 - largely unnoticed and ending in two of them having a bout of fisticuffs and calling it all off - might have led anyone to decide now is the right time for a second-string boyband to be getting back together?

Even Victoria Newton is so sure it's going to flop, she flings her "exclusive" back in their stupid faces:

But this latest move is clearly a cynical bid to cash in on the man-band comeback craze.

It stinks of an idea cooked up by bored record execs with pound signs in their eyes dreaming of a telly deal for yet another tedious fly-on-the-wall comeback show.

I can’t imagine the ratings will be set alight by the story of four lads who still haven’t come to terms with their names slipping off the guestlist, desperately clinging on to fame.

But I suppose it will give them some much-needed pocket money.

I give them about four months before they are all back on the dole.

Let's hope they were just pretending when they said they'd put loads of work into it.
Shame to see it wasted.

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