Moss bans Doherty

We're not entirely sure he'd have been going anyway - although his enthusiastic embrace of The Madonna Lifestyle doesn't make it impossible - but, alledgedly Kate Moss has told Pete Doherty he's not allowed to go to the Brits.

Apparently she's "jealous" of his "friendship" with "Lily Allen".

Oh, if only there was some sort of unnamed source to explain to us what's going on.

Hang about - there is:

And things came to a head when Kate discovered a gift Lily had given him among Pete's stuff. Our source tells us: "Kate went ballistic and kept shouting about why he had kept the thing from Lily after all these months.

"Pete insisted that she was being paranoid, they were just mates.

"But Kate was having none of it and said that there was no way that Pete was going to the Brits if Lily was going - especially as she wasn't going herself.

"Pete was gutted as he was looking forward to it."

Of course, the real problem is that the Brits are taking place on Valentine's Night. It does raise the question of what bunch of dipping dots arranges the work's night out on February 14th. Especially when you're live on TV, to a nation of living rooms deserted by young people out eating spaghetti in a bid to get off with each other.