A party with the Gallaghers

Having performed the vital role as the signal that it was time for everyone to go home at the Brits, Oasis moved on to their after-career party ("after-show party").

Liam, of course, was charm itself, turning his attention to former best pal Robbie Williams:

“What’s his fuckin’ problem, man?

“We all know what it is — he’s a fuckin’ drama fuckin’ queen.

“If you’ve got a fuckin’ problem, why do you want the whole world knowing about it? He has to be on the front fuckin’ pages, doesn’t he? Just sort your fuckin’ self out.

“You make a fuckin’ crap album then want everyone to feel fuckin’ sorry for you. Fuckin’ tosser!”

He added: “If you take drugs you end up in rehab unless you’re a fuckin’ rock like me — and then you just give them up.”

You could just have sent some grapes and a card, you know, Liam.

Curiously, Liam appears to have been involved in some sort of scuffle outside the party, which The Sun doesn't mention at all and the the 3AM girls only make passing reference to:

Liam was causing a riot outside the club. It started with him scrawling on snappers' lenses and bald heads with a permanent marker pen.

An autograph hunter was left concussed, cars were smashed, and punches were thrown as chaos reigned.

It all sounds very interesting. Sadly, though, the girls have no details as they were inside the club, looking at Sadie Frost.

Noel, apparently, had established the door policy himself:

"We're throwing our own party so we can snub people and not let them in."

You are controlling the quality of party people, and yet the 3AM Girls are inside the event? What... how does that... ooh...