Boy George takes it online

Oh, Boy George, is this what you're reduced to? Sitting in front of a computer making tart remarks about pop celebrities?

Ouch... sorry about that, we just got a beam in our eyes. Never mind, spot of Optrex sorted it out lovely. Where were we? Yes, unable to find a record deal, George has decided to promote his music online. Of course, rather than do this by putting his music online, he's instead recorded a video which seems to be little more than a run through of his last five years of bitching. Not, of course, that he doesn't have a point:

He said: "Nobody has actually bothered to investigate the Kabbalah attitude to gay people and I can assure you that I have investigated it, and they are homophobic.

"And I do think it's shocking that somebody who has made so much money out of gay people is now part of an organisation which is clearly anti-gay. Having said that I rest my sling-backs."

You'll note, of course, his Dittoesque claim that he, and he alone, has investigated the attitude of Kabbalah to homosexuality - although that simply isn't true, as he'd have discovered during his investigations, surely?

He then rolls on through his usual stuff, as time-worn as a Ben Elton stand-up routine.

Elton John? Doubleseat

"He treats people like accessories. I was invited to dinner and during the meal all he did was try and get me to bitch about George Michael.

"Because I knew he was trying to pull my tongue I wouldn't do it. After the meal he drove off in his Rolls Royce. He had given me his number and when I called it, it had been disconnected - surplus to requirements."

David Furnish? Doubleseat, doubleseat

And David Furnish followed me into the toilet and banged on the door and said 'Why are you so horrible about my boyfriend?' and I said 'Look, let me go to the loo and I'll come out and talk to you'. The next day they fed a story to the newspapers that I was cowering from David Furnish."

And so on, and so on. Don't worry if you miss it - it's sure to come round again.