It's not that unusual any more for supposed sister papers The Sun and News of the World to knock down each other's stories, but this morning's NOTW knock-down of the Sun's suggestion that Britney's on the mend has a violence that could leave a shed in pieces.
In short: she's not doing alright:
"Later that night she tried to kill herself," a friend told us. "She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt."
We're still trying to work out exactly what sort of clinic needs to call paramedics to deal with a medical emergency - we suspect one that isn't the best place for someone with what sounds like serious mental health problems to be in, to be honest.
"The clinic people just didn't know what to do. Then she started screaming, ‘I'm a fake! I'm a fake!' It must have been really frightening.
If you're frightened by the behaviour of someone with a mental illness, perhaps being in a career working with people with mental illness isn't the best path to have chosen.