Kylie Brown? It does have a ring to it

We're sure the leaking yesterday of details of Gordon Brown's 'secret' supper with Kylie Minogue was just a strange coincidence and not, in any way, intended to try and take the shine of Tony Blair's embracing of his light entertainment destiny by appearing in a Catherine Tate sketch for Comic Relief. (Tony, we discovered, is "not bovvered", which would at least explain the pisspoor performance of his government since the last election.)

The Sun tries to imagine just what Gordon and Kylie might have had to say to each other:

KYLIE: We’ve hardly spoken all evening.

GORD: (Spinning around) I know the face. I just can’t get the name out of my head.

KYLIE: Kylie. We have lots in common.

GORD: Yes, er... the gold hot pants.

KYLIE: No, we’re both well shot of Neighbours. Anyway, I’ve paid, so must be off.

GORD: Indeed. Waiter, where’s that VAT?

We apologise for the damage reproducing that might have done to your poor, straining sides. We're still puzzling over the punchline - we're guessing that they forgot the word "receipt", implying that Gordon will be claiming VAT back on an expense he didn't occur; but maybe the joke was meant to be that he was going to wallow in a giant vat of butter. Actually, none of it makes sense. Even down to why any editor would have run this instead of, say, a larger picture of Kylie.