This series of the X-Factor is far more entertaining than any of the previous ones - of course, when it actually gets on screen it'll be as dull as ever, but for now, watching the judge-honkers turning on each other like hungry scorpions is great fun. Simon Cowell has told The Sun he's, you know, sorry about how he sacked Louis:
Yes, Cowell admitting he was wrong. Very unusual. But it turns out this contrition is merely designed to allow him to have a pop at Sharon Osbourne instead. Having made an apology with all the conviction of a David Cameron policy, he gets down to the proper business, squaring up to Sharon Osbourne's claims he was a coward:
“I was surprised when I saw her comments. Only a very small part of the story is coming out. I would suggest Sharon actually gets in touch with me. Knowing a tenth of what happened and not speaking to me is naive.”
We'd have thought that a tenth of a clue was more than Sharon usually bases her performances on.
Cowell then continues to protest that he'd have loved to have carried on Louis and that Fearne Cornton or Kate Thotton or whatever she is, but ITV wanted her out:
Really? Perhaps someone should tell the official ITV website that, as it seems to believe the opposite:
Simco and Syco, of course, are Simon Cowell's companies. If Cowell had wanted to keep Louis, he wasn't without the clout - after all, it's not like ITV would have closed down its last remaining Saturday hit rather than give Cowell his way, is it?