Preposterous Tales in the life of Mrs McCartney

We're expected to believe that Heather Mills would give up the divorce settlement for just another chance at getting back with Paul.

It's the News of the World which reports this story, suddenly casting Heather as a lovelorn woman with no thought of pound signs:

At one point during the bash at the Mondrian Skybar, one of LA's hottest nightspots, Heather was seen gazing mournfully out over the glittering skyline.

One surprised guest said: "She didn't sound like the total money-grabber we all thought she was. It's clear she still cares for Paul."

Goodness, why could we have been so wrong about her? Could it be that, erm, the News of the World and its sister paper have been portraying her as a money-grabbing harlot for the last twelve months? And, surely, the fearless Screws wouldn't suddenly be trying to generously rehabilitate Mills as the divorce settlement nears and her promised legal action for their "Mills was a prostitute" story starts to look more imminent?