As the prospect of the Spice Girls tour sends the newspapers into a flurry of activity, you can smell the fear in their nostrils that anything other than total surrender to the women might result in missing out on some juicy exclusive access. Yes, we're in for months and months of the tabloids rushing to try and wipe out five years of coverage suggesting that Geri was a weight yo-yo fuck-up, that Mel B was a loud-mouth nympho fuck-up, that Victoria was a humourless bitch, that Mel C was queen of the dwindling audience and that Emma had virtually disappeared.
It's like the government is about to change and everyone wants to be in with the new administation.
Which is the only explanation for David Lowe's bemusing review of Victoria Beckham's Coming To America in the Sun:
Posh proved she's Queen of the Quip in the recent telly documentary about her move to the States, Coming to America.
Really? Who knew that Beckham was the Dorothy Parker of our times?
Lowe illustrates his point, with 'quips' like this:
'The women had lipstick on' - maybe that one's just gone over my head. Let's try another:
That would seem to be ignorant rather than witty.
Well... we can see that that has many of the ingredients you'd look for in a bon mot, but it doesn't actually make any sense. If there had been a lovely chandelier, then saying "I hope he didn't bump into that while he was dancing on the ceiling" might be worth it, but otherwise, this is little more than nodding and saying "I have heard of him."
Trouble is, while this is amusing, it's in a laughing at her way.
That's actually mildly amusing, but again, we're not entirely sure she was attempting to be funny.
Far from being witty, that's one of the most heartbreakingly sharp insights into how empty her life is, surely?
John Hegley reported himself "unworried" this morning.