Let's hope the Sun is wrong on this one

If their report in today's paper is correct, Malawian authorities have not only ignored their own and the Africa Union guidelines on adoption, but they're now adopting a cash-and-carry approach to parcelling out the kids:

Madge, 49, has told her lawyer in Malawi, Alan Chinula, to “cover all legal bases” before she collects Mercy next April.

Madge insisted she wanted to adopt a sister for David “to redress the balance”.

We can only imagine what having a boy had done for the feng shui of her many houses. But hold on - if David's adoption is approved, wouldn't he, erm, already have a sister? Lourdes?

She “had her heart” set on Grace, but the tot’s extended family objected. Madge has been back several times since and was said to be “thrilled” to be told she can take Mercy.

She will file papers in February, a month after David’s adoption is finalised.

Now, I don't want to sound like a boring old bureaucrat here, but wouldn't it be better to wait until the papers are filed - and, indeed, until it's decided if she's a fit person to be "looking after" David (or, more accurately, paying the nanny to look after him) before telling Madonna she can "collect" another child?

Mercy has some family, including an aunt, but they were too poor to keep her, so left her at the orphanage.

Ah, so rather than the complicated adoption last time, where Madonna could have reunited a child with his family by offering a small sum of money, but instead yanked him off halfway around the world, this time it's "uncomplicated" because Madonna could have reunited a child with her family... oh, hang on.

She is healthy, unlike David who was desperately ill after arriving in England.

The source added: “Mercy is a beautiful baby girl. She’s so joyful and happy and giggles every time she’s picked up. Madonna just loves the way she claps her hands and laughs constantly. She has huge, dancing eyes. Madonna calls her her smiling angel.”

So, a healthy, happy child who smiles and laughs a lot. Thank god Madonna's going to rescue her from that, eh?