Lights, Cowell, Action

Amongst any working list of things we could do without would surely be Pop Idol the Movie:

Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter, Cowell said: "We want it to be the musical version of Rocky - an underdog story, a feel-good film."

So, not an accurate one, then, where an underdog would fight for their big chance only to discover the public have, instead, blown their dinnermoney on buying some beastly opera thing by a bloke who sells mobile phones for a living, who happened to appear on the telly the night before.

The only reason we're not heading for the set with a flaming torch and a chant of "purge, purge" is the involvement of Jonathan Harvey, who has at least managed to inject some of the old-school sparkle back into his Coronation Street scripts. On the other hand, let's not forget he also did Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie, so we'll keep these torches and a box of Swan Vesta on hand.