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Private Eye's I-Sky column will be gurgling with delight
For some reason, it's only The Sun which sees anything newsworthy in the suggestion that Jordan uses her Sky+ remote as a tool-measuring tool:
“I'm proud of it! [Peter Andre's penis] It's the size of the Sky remote control - I've measured it."
But Jordan went one further adding: “'It is the size of the Sky+ remote, the one with the grey bits on, that's bigger than a normal remote.”
But Jordan went one further adding: “'It is the size of the Sky+ remote, the one with the grey bits on, that's bigger than a normal remote.”
What a pity she didn't go on to mention the surprises you get when you press the red button; they could have used her in the adverts.
Still, we sympathise: if Peter Andre came at us with his knob out, we'd be reaching for the TV remote control, too.
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"And the girth! Why, it's almost as wide as the vast selection of quality programming we get for just £15 a month for the first six months" she added :(
How does this endless coverage of Jordan's every cough fit in with the Sun's wall-to-wall Spice Girl fawning, by the way? I thought Jordan and Victoria hated each other (in the same way that various dull celebrities 'hate each other', i.e. Feeding the tabloids enough lame put-downs to keep themselves in print). Shouldn't they be taking sides by now?
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