Monday, September 10, 2007

Britney Spears: smoke and mirrors

Bubbling around the internet is what purports to be insider knowledge of why Britney screwed up last night. It was, erm, the venue's fault:

Britney Spears was to perform under the magic of Chris Angel... but MTV freaked out at the last minute finding out what Britney was actually going to do.

Supposidly, what Britney and Chris were planning was to do a set of mirrors and flotation. But when told to the Palms Hotel/Casino... the hotel flipped.

Insurance was the main problem, and the stage couldn't support the performance. MTV also freaked at the last minute because of their fear of being "too controversial" during the performance. Britney and Chris were in fact furious with MTV's sad excuse and told Britney to change the performance at the last minute.

Britney's original performance was to in fact appear and disappear. To float through the air... and for much mature dancing.

Hmm. So some sub-David Nixon magic, and all of a sudden the thing was "too controversial"? And if the stage was physically incapable of supporting the set, then regardless of its quality or "mature dancing" content, how could it have gone on? Would the cross-struts have suddenly been more rigid if the morals of the choreography had been sharpened up?

And how could this have happened at the "last minute"? If it was a last-minute change, how did the pair manage to get through rehearsals without the hotel's representatives having a problem? And if it wasn't at the last minute, wouldn't a fairly undemanding dance routine have been simple of Britney to pick up?

Most of all: whatever the dance was, how come Britney didn't know the words of the song? Or did the Palms change those too?

You seriously have to hope this isn't a professional attempt to salvage the night, and just the work of a well-meaning, though fundamentally deluded fan.


Anonymous said...

"So some sub-David Nixon magic, and all of a sudden the thing was "too controversial"?"

You should see where she was planning to pull the silk hankerchiefs from.

PS By bizarre coincidence, someone asked if I was a magician this morning. She said she'd heard I was, and wondered if I could do a set for a church event. Leaving aside the obvious thought (i.e. That a group of people, who spend every Sunday hearing about Jesus feeding 5000 and rising from the dead, may be a little disappointed to see someone making a small sponge ball disappear), do you think I could get away with saying 'Yes, I am!' and then turning up on the day, claiming there was a problem with the stage and spending three minutes half-heartedly wandering around some male dancers instead?

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

How did someone get the idea you were a magician? Have they seen you buying large numbers of rabbits or something? Or do you always wear a top hat?

Anonymous said...

I was wondering that too... I think it might be down to the way that, whenever I go out anywhere, I take a group of five Americans in their twenties to gasp "OH MY GAAAAAAAD!!!!" and roll on the floor every time I do anything.

Changing my surname by deed-poll to 'Magnifico' might have something to do with it too.

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