The Sun has worked itself into something of a froth over a photo of Paul McCartney kissing a woman he knows. So frothy are they, they've actually made the photo totally useless, slapping a big Sun logo all over it and putting that pathetic "our lawyers are watching" into the picture.
And the lawyers, clearly, are watching, as the article which accompanies the picture doesn't actually draw its own conclusions. Sure, it hints that there's something going on between McCartney and Nancy Shevell:
... but the paper doesn't actually get beyond innuendo and lead-covered hints:
Chatting warmly? Having dinner together? What could you be hinting at?
Good lord... are you trying to tell us that Paul McCartney wears women's underwear?
Still, married, eh? So... there's some sort of homewrecking going on here, then?
So, she's married in sort-of the same way that Paul McCartney is, technically, married, then?
So, this story is: Paul McCartney has a female friend.
Curiously, by the way, this story is itself as estranged as its central characters, with Victoria 'showbiz editor' Newton leading with, erm, which tatty babe calendar is the "sexiest".
Meanwhile, Heather Mills has been continuing her campaign to stop the press ripping people's reputations to shreds by, erm, telling Hello what a bastard McCartney is:
“Who needs that kind of money?”
Aha. You might have thought McCartney was rich because The Beatles back catalogue still earns him a small fortune every year, but it's actually because he hasn't spent a happorth since 1962. Perhaps when the Sun says he shared cocktails with Nancy Shevell they really do mean he ordered a Slippery Nipple and two straws.
There is something dark at the heart of Shevell's story, though:
The couple, seen in New York society as a powerful political team, are both active Republicans and donated money to George Bush’s presidential campaign in 2004.
Ewww, Paul. How could you?