Imagine the children

Supposedly, according to the dying moments of the old-style 3AM Girls, Geri Halliwell and David Walliams are stepping out together.

You can see the grounds for mutual attraction - one of them gets on stage dressed like an unconvincing woman and makes silly noises in a stupid voice; the other was in Attachments.

The 3AM team, meanwhile, gets a complete makeover from Monday. I know, I know, how will we ever sleep on Sunday night? Most notable of the new team is Danielle Lawler, who managed to last about two weeks as a member of Gordon Smart's "cabinet" before resigning to spend more time with the Daily Mirror.