Monday, March 31, 2008

Gordon in the morning: Kensit moves on again

The wedding of Jeremy Healy and Patsy Kensit is off, according to this morning's Gordon Smart column, but it's not a story that Smart himself dirties his hands with. Oddly, though, there are two bylines:


It seems a bit heavy for a 'story' which is little more than an unsourced quote and a list of her ex-husbands.
Patsy had reportedly asked film star friend LIZ HURLEY to be bridesmaid. The pal added: “She must be devastated.”

The pal isn't actually Liz Hurley. And it isn't clear if "the pal" is suggesting that Kensit will be devastated, or if Hurley will be upset at not having to wear a bridesmaid dress.

It's very kind to call Hurley a film star - even if you count films that nobody saw, she's not troubled a trailer since 2004.

In the paper, Gordon's big story is about Amy Winehouse's new album, a story he splashes despite having run it last week:
The troubled star has almost become a recluse since contracting an ugly skin condition and friends are terrified about her negative state of mind.

'Has almost become a recluse'? How do you "almost" become a recluse? Only venturing outside covered in a tent? Since Gordon was reporting at the start of the weekend she was turning up at Pentonville wearing a large, look-at-me badge and last week on trips to kebab shops, you'd have to ask exactly where the almost-reclusedom is showing itself.

Meanwhile, Gordon has some sexy snaps of Sarah Larson. They're clearly mucking-about-on-a-night-out shots, and they're being run because she may or may not be dating George Clooney:
I always knew Sarah was a great catch, and these pics of her...

Yes, Gordon, what do "these pics" do?
...just confirm what I already thought.

We're scratching our heads as to what Gordon means when he says that he "always knew" Sarah was a great catch? Does he mean 'since I heard she was going out with Clooney'? Or has he really always thought she was a great catch and has been working diligently behind the scenes to set her up with someone? Or is it merely he had some vaguely raunchy out-of-focus photos he wanted to print and was just going to write any old blurb to make it look like there was reason for them to be in a newspaper?

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